Once this Canadian chick asked me to give her an Old King Clancy... I hear that's like a Sacramento Turtleneck except with syrup. I tossed her.
by BrickyFists March 25, 2009
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turtle • turtle head • turtling • Turtleneck • turtle necking • turtled • turtle shells • turtledove • turtleing • turtle dick
A sexual act that involves pulling out of your partner at the last second and quickly fisting them once. Then immediately grabbing the covers and diving under them much like a turtle shell. The final act is to slowly poke your head out of the blankets as if you were a turtle.
B: "I heard you and Jon got pretty rough last night?"
A: "Yeah , I don't know how to really describe it but it kind of felt like a turtlefoot?"
A: "Yeah , I don't know how to really describe it but it kind of felt like a turtlefoot?"
by lolturtle July 2, 2009
Get the turtlefoot mug.When the most incredible woman you have ever met in your life finally opens up and sends the most amazing text or e-mail, but immediately retreats back into her shell never to be seen or heard from again.
Patti broke my heart when she sent me a Turtle Text and severed all contact right after hitting send.
by ice cold asshole March 7, 2010
Get the Turtle Text mug.Creature takes that takes shelter in someone's closet that plays Xbox all day, and gives up eggs every month for rent.
When frightened it uses it's beak to peck away at the unsuspecting victim.
When frightened it uses it's beak to peck away at the unsuspecting victim.
Dude 1: Don't go in my closet the turtle vulture will get you.
Dude 2: WTF is a turtle vulture?
Dude 1: Go in the closet and find out.
Dude 2: *Opens closet door* "Holy shit, it's pecking my eyes out!"
Dude 1: Curiosity killed the cat.
Dude 2: WTF is a turtle vulture?
Dude 1: Go in the closet and find out.
Dude 2: *Opens closet door* "Holy shit, it's pecking my eyes out!"
Dude 1: Curiosity killed the cat.
by Xplode44 June 29, 2011
Get the Turtle Vulture mug.Commonly, after a male finishes urinating, he pulls the front half of his briefs back over his groin and goes about his daily routine.
A Turtle Snap occurs when the male loses grip on his underwear halfway up, causing the elastic to snap directly onto the genitals. Side effects may include severe pain in the testicles, depreciation of self-esteem stemming from the brief inability to use basic motor skills, and strange looks from anyone occupying neighboring stalls.
Over-exposure to Turtle Snapping is likely to result in a Schlonky Donk
A Turtle Snap occurs when the male loses grip on his underwear halfway up, causing the elastic to snap directly onto the genitals. Side effects may include severe pain in the testicles, depreciation of self-esteem stemming from the brief inability to use basic motor skills, and strange looks from anyone occupying neighboring stalls.
Over-exposure to Turtle Snapping is likely to result in a Schlonky Donk
Bryan: Hey Mike, why are you doubled over?
Mike: I was so relaxed after my urigasm that I turtle snapped myself.
Bryan: Cool story, bro.
Mike: I was so relaxed after my urigasm that I turtle snapped myself.
Bryan: Cool story, bro.
by Reasonwriter703 February 11, 2012
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by MindingFreedom September 2, 2017
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