thirty-seven pence

Amount of money a stranger, almost always a second-rate excuse for humanity, will ask to "borrow" (as if they would pay it back, even if they could) from you when they accost you outside a public transport hub in britain. It's always thirty-seven pence that they ask for. 37p gets you virtually nothing; a small chocolate bar, a cup of tea in a really grotty cafe, a newspaper. It certainly isn't enough for a ride anywhere on a train, bus or metro/subway/underground train. It's frequently a charva (chav, for those unused to north-eastern english slang) who's asking. I suspect drugs, although I wonder how much smack can be attained for 37p, and how much of it is actually sand, demerara sugar, brick dust or other delightful substance.

Some charva: "hyaa man can yer help us oot? Reet, aah've lost me wallet, an' ah need ter gan doon tae wor lasses hoose. Could yer lend uz thorty-sevn pence, how? Ah wouldn't norm'ly ask, like, but, yer knaa..."

Your verbal response: "No."

Your imagined response, #1: (pulls out large shotgun loaded with special shell with thirty-seven one pence pieces instead of the usual balls of shot, and shoots charva in the gut) "BOOM. Best thirty-seven pence I ever spent."

Your imagined response, #2: "Taxi! Here's ten quid, take this man as far as you can into the countryside. He'll probably make a fuss, it's his medication. He needs fresh air and a good walk, so just leave him whereever the money runs out."

by YourMessageHere April 25, 2006

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