horizontal monkey dance

The best name for sex ever created

Hey baby, why dont you slip off that g-string so we can do the horizontal monkey dance.

by Teabagger January 5, 2005

brass monkey

Every sailing ship had to have cannon for protection. Cannon of the times required round iron cannonballs. The master wanted to store the cannonballs such that they could be of instant use when needed, yet not roll around the gun deck. The solution was to stack them up in a square-based pyramid next to the cannon. The top level of the stack had one ball, the next level down had four, the next had nine, the next had sixteen, and so on. Four levels would provide a stack of 30 cannonballs. The only real problem was how to keep the bottom level from sliding out from under the weight of the higher levels. To do this, they devised a small brass plate ("brass monkey") with one rounded indentation for each cannonball in the bottom layer. Brass was used because the cannonballs wouldn't rust to the "brass monkey", but would rust to an iron one.

When temperature falls, brass contracts in size faster than iron. As it got cold on the gun decks, the indentations in the brass monkey would get smaller than the iron cannonballs they were holding. If the temperature got cold enough, the bottom layer would pop out of the indentations spilling the entire pyramid over the deck. Thus it was, quite literally, cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey.

Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey.

by Mike January 29, 2005

Monkey Claw

The kind of fart that burns your butthole. It feels like a monkey with really sharp claws is trying to claw it's way out of your anus. Usually the result of consuming spicy Mexican food. "Don't lie and say you've never had a fart like this... everyone has!"

I thought I was going to have to take a huge dump because of all that Mexican food I ate. Instead I just farted about ten monkey claws.

by badcandy13 December 28, 2005

Hang time on the monkey

Where a girl's Vagina lips are very large and hang down. Most men are not to fond of saggy Vagina's.

Have u seen her puss? She's got major Hang Time on the Monkey!

I'm not licking her box, she's got has hella Hang Time on the Monkey!

by chase-o June 29, 2007

cheeky monkey

Term used to define sexual our witty comment made in jest. Cheeky means you are flippant, have too much lip or are a bit of a smart arse! Generally you are considered to be a bit cheeky if you have an answer for everything and always have the last word.

Cheeky - "Eee you cheeky monkey" was what my mother said to me all the time when I was a kid.

by www.hikikomori.tv February 16, 2005

cheese monkey

A rare member of the primate family and whose diet consists of dairy products esp. cheese.

My Velveeta is missing... must be a cheese monkey on the loose.

by Joe October 19, 2003

Monkey Knife Fight

A deadly fight that occurs between two monkeys who have purchased knives . Although not compulsory, everyone gets kicks out of the monkeys being handcuffed together. Sometimes fought in international waters to avoid federal "No Monkey Knife Fighting" laws.

(often heard in school playground), "Yo Check it B, monkey knife fight in the quandrangle !!"

by me January 9, 2005