And then Jesus came back!

A phrase added by someone who is incredulous to what is being said, either an exaggerated report or a vision. Very much akin to "and then you woke up," as in "you woke up from the dream you were having and realized, 'oh, yeah, that was just a dream.'"

Coordinator: Yah, and I'm going to make sure there are 150 people at the cookies and ice cream party, that way we'll make $500 easy.
Coordinator's helper: Yeah, and then Jesus came back!

Seminarian: Sure I helped Jim Wallis write that book "God and Politics."
Professor: Yeah, and then Jesus came back!

by bajgrace4u June 16, 2010

Rappin' for Jesus

A popular song made by Pastor Jim Colerick and Mary Sue Colerick who most likely fucks the people in his church but Well I wrote this song for the Christian youth
I wanna teach kids the Christian truth
If you wanna reach those kids on the street
Then you gotta do a rap to a hip-hop beat
I gave my sermon an urban kick
My rhymes are fly, my beats are sick
My crew is big and it keeps getting bigger
That's cause Jesus Christ is my nigga
Oooooooo
He's a life-changer, miracle-arranger
Born to the virgin mom in a manger
Water to wine, he's a drink exchanger
And he died for your sins
I preach the word, that's my gig
And I rhyme better than Notorious BIG
Other emcees, I wish them well
But if you live in sin, you burn in hell
Now I'ma pass the mic to my lovely wife
She's a fly emcee and the light of my life
So to bust a rhyme without further ado
Take it away, Mary Sue!
Jesus Christ is my nigga

I am officially a Rappin' for Jesus Christian

by Go ring the durbell September 30, 2020

The second coming of Jesus Christ

Someone that can turn their poop into wine.

Random guy: "I'm the second coming of Jesus Christ."

Eric Andre: " PROVE IT. TURN THAT POOP INTO WINE- TURN THAT POOP INTO WINE-"

by L. Ron Hoyabembe May 12, 2021

jesus sauce

when jesus was around he'd masturbate into cups and make people drink his seamen b/c if they drank this jesus sauce, they believed they'd gain his powers.

"my great-great-great-great-great-great (x's 45) grandfather jimmy drank jesus sauce once a day and learned how to walk on water!!!"

by Gjelstiznles July 31, 2006

jesus

A cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father that can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master so that he can remove an evil force in your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.

Easter: Happy Zombie Jesus Day!

by Squee4Starscream March 9, 2008

jesusita

Someone who is a practicing christian that chooses to make her practicing religion known.

That chick with the bible and holy water...what a jesusita.

by thenameisdita June 21, 2004

Jesusmobile

A car which has a Chevrolet sign turned perpendicular to resemble a cross, a cracked windshield, a torn up and unsuccessfully replastered bumper, two missing hubcaps, the passenger side floor soaked in coolant, and always blasting 80s music

1. He came not to judge, but to save
2. Would you like to go to a party at China Harbor?
3. Eva just crashed the Jesusmobile into that car while parallel parking

by Zeva of Zygote August 29, 2003