Jesus pimp 

One who perverts the good intention of Jesus Christs message for personal, political and/or social gain.

Benny Hinn is a Jesus pimp.

Bob Jones is a Jesus pimp.

Jesus pimp by Harland Sanders August 14, 2008

jesus freak 

A self-professed Christian who labors under the mistaken impression that Christians are persecuted in this country, and that he or she is commonly persecuted for his or her beliefs. These people usually attempt to convert everyone they know or meet to their own denomination of "born again" Christianity, thereby alienating a number of non-Christians as well as Christians of denominations not of their own, then attribute their subsequent shunning by society to a fictitious, widespread anti-Christian mania.

Josh: "Hi, my name is Josh, and I'm a Jesus freak."
Tim "Hi, my name is Tim, and I'm Jewish."
Josh: "You need the love of Jesus in your life! Repent! You're going to hell!"
Tim: *walks away*
Josh: "Why do you hate me? Why must I be persecuted?!"

jesus freak by the birds and trees June 15, 2007

jesus tap dancing christ 

blasphemous, explitive, expression of disgust, or frustration. may be used in place of explitives such as 'god damn it.'

"what, I have to provide an example, jesus tap dancing christ!"

jesus tap dancing christ by slaingod September 5, 2008

jesus christ in a cardigan sweater 

a statement of disbelief or outrage. Goes on the same turf as "Christ on a cracker!" or simply "Jesus Christ!" Or the better "Jesus H. Christ!" Simply putting Jesus in a cardigan sweater makes it that much more of an animated phrase.

Chrystal found out she had to work late tonight and exclaimed, "Jesus Christ in a cardigan sweater!"

Christina casually browsed the clothing rack and noticed a pair of jeans that were $300 and shouted "Jesus Christ in a cardigan sweater, who the hell would pay that much for these!?"

jesus christ in a cardigan sweater by Robert Barnett August 16, 2006

Jesus Jizzer 

A person who is so religious, they want to slam it in your face any chance they get. You can often tell even from their bumper stickers. These people are said to be "jizzin' for Jesus."

"Aww, man! They have the fish on their trunk AND they're going slow. Damn Jesus Jizzers!

Jesus Jizzer by nicatnite February 20, 2011

Jesus Cum Guzzling Christ 

Just another alternative to Jesus Fucking Christ...also, it's more offensive to christians (so it has my vote).

Jesus cum guzzling christ...did you see that bitch's tits?

Jesus Cum Guzzling Christ by Yes I'm That Good August 5, 2008

Jesus Stans

Another name for Christians

Wow look at that group of worshippers, they are real Jesus Stans

Jesus Stans by ynsmedia December 23, 2018