The Story of The Turtle of Life:
The Turtle of Life has never been born unto a family of glory and righteousness.
Thus he gave unto himself a gift. This gift was the Pride of the Lions, and what caused the Sadness of the Ravens and the Murder of the Crows. The Murder brought about a new era and the skies were clear for all other birds feared this new gift, especially the seagulls. When the seagulls, learned of their fate and that they had been exiled from the skies they decided to become creatures of earth and thus, transformed into moles. The moles were not pleased by the overcrowding of the earth and thus wished to be Crows. Now moles, living under a rock, didn’t know about the Murder of the Crows, and so they were killed, swiftly and brutally. The Seagulls then realized that turtles’ bellies were weak and they held their bellies up to the warm earth. So the Moles attempted siege of the shelled creatures. The Turtles then pinned the blame on the Turtle of Life who was never there, and they were killed. The Turtle of Life did not come back to save them for he was never there… or was he.
The Turtle of Life has never been born unto a family of glory and righteousness.
Thus he gave unto himself a gift. This gift was the Pride of the Lions, and what caused the Sadness of the Ravens and the Murder of the Crows. The Murder brought about a new era and the skies were clear for all other birds feared this new gift, especially the seagulls. When the seagulls, learned of their fate and that they had been exiled from the skies they decided to become creatures of earth and thus, transformed into moles. The moles were not pleased by the overcrowding of the earth and thus wished to be Crows. Now moles, living under a rock, didn’t know about the Murder of the Crows, and so they were killed, swiftly and brutally. The Seagulls then realized that turtles’ bellies were weak and they held their bellies up to the warm earth. So the Moles attempted siege of the shelled creatures. The Turtles then pinned the blame on the Turtle of Life who was never there, and they were killed. The Turtle of Life did not come back to save them for he was never there… or was he.
by FSMFan June 12, 2009
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Get the head of the turtle mug.A weird and spiritual sex position described in ancient Chinese literature. Also, KJ has no idea what this is...
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by i like art August 18, 2008
Get the dirty turtle mug.(adj) The term "akward turtle" was created in Bronxville, NY and spread quickly all around Westchester, and probably exists in different areas around the United States. Awkward Turtle refers to a turtle on it's back, a situation most commonly known to turtles as akward, thus, akward turtle. There is also a hand motion for the "akward turtle...that being the right hand over the left hand with palms facing up, with your pinky and thumb fingers moving about, as if the turtle was trying to get up..
Oh my god So I was talking to Becky about STDs and I forgot she had syphilis...it was mad awkward turtle
by imtheman May 22, 2006
Get the awkward turtle mug.When the head of a penis resembles a baby turtle's head. Usually very common in African Americans as well as smaller people.
by A.M.R May 7, 2011
Get the Turtle Head mug.In common useage in essex. Whenever an awkward or tense situation arises, the tenseness can be examplified by this gesture. You hold one hand out straight with fingers splayed. The other hand goes on top with the fingers curling in between the gaps in the fingers. Now all fingers curl to make a sphere (the shell of the turtle). Finally the thumbs on both hands are rotated.
by Awkward! May 9, 2010
Get the Awkward Turtle mug.A smart, hippy who is very weird & excentric, but Every one thinks they are awsome. Also a huge stoneer. Idolizes Ghandi, Jim Morrison, and George Harison.
by Space Turtle November 5, 2008
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