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there's so much stress in my life, so i need to smoke

phrase beginning smokers say to their parents (and rarely, children, spouses, or siblings, and very rarely, grandchildren) when they are told it's unhealthy for them and such people tell them not to continue
Mother: "You've been smoking, haven't you? I can smell it on your clothes even when you tried to cover it up."
Daughter (angry and embarassed): "Mother! There's so much stress in my life, so I need to smoke, okay?! Daddy keeps putting on that shitty rap channel and it stresses me out, so smoking will calm it down".
Mother: "Watch your mouth there, young lady. Don't let that bother you. He's just teasing you and you know it. And, you won't smoke anymore or he'll hear about it".
Daughter: "I won't smoke at home, okay? I'll just do it outside the home, and I'll cover it up when I'm done. No one here will suspect a thing."
Mother: "You won't do it anywhere! You're done with it now!"
by Karen Stickney November 25, 2007
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Whaddup I'm Jared I'm 19 and I never fucking learned how to read

Whaddup I'm Jared I'm 19 and I never fucking learned how to read is a vine reference used by nostalgic people who miss vine
"Hey could you read page 21 for the class?"
"No I can not WHADDUP I'M JARED I'M 19 AND I NEVER FUCKING LEARNED HOW TO READ
by Kirbylove May 6, 2018
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i want alot of people to see this so im writing insane tags

When you want attention but don't know how to get so you go to a dictionary site as a last resort and try.
I'm totally i want alot of people to see this so im writing insane tags right now so people will laugh.
by miniwill455 March 7, 2016
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An expression meaning: Wow, that is really, really gay.

Said by Master Shake.
Master Shake: That is the gayest thing I have ever seen since gay went to gay town!
by Artifishalfish November 3, 2006
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hey guys I like really need to buy some bread in minecraft

u need bread cuz u hungry and since ur eating bread that is made by a man or woMAN that is gay
you big gay pee
person 1: hey guys I like really need to buy some bread in minecraft
person 2: no cuz thats gay
Person 1: ok
by senor pee pee buns May 31, 2018
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