for horny bitches:
i heard my parents car finally leave the drive, running to the draw filled with dildos and lube. i ripped off my clothes until all that was left was my thong. i gently started to rub my pussy, feeling instant relief and wanting more. i ripped off my panties, enjoying it even more raw. the more i rubbed, the more vigorous i got. it was throbbing now, begging for those fingers to slide right in. i moaned at the thought of it, inserting my middle finger into my clit, pounding it in and out. but 1 wasnt enough, my index finger slid in along with my middle finger going as deep as i could. cum building up, rubbing and fingering myself even harder to the point my legs were shaking. the adrenaline was insane, building up until i moaned so loud my throat hurt. i couldnt stop moaning, it just felt so good. i needed more, i craved more. i slammed my draw open and pulled out my dildo. i placed it facing upwards on my floor and yanked my fingers out of my pussy. i started to bounce on it, turning into aggressively riding it and pumping it into my body. god it felt so good. my pussy was dripping wet. i could feel the cum about to leave my body, clenching to not finger myself even more. this lasted a few seconds before it squirted out of me, launching across the room and landing on my door, dripping down. the moan that came out of me was the best one yet. i couldn't help but rub my pussy even more until my brother came in my room. not realising he was home, he said
i heard my parents car finally leave the drive, running to the draw filled with dildos and lube. i ripped off my clothes until all that was left was my thong. i gently started to rub my pussy, feeling instant relief and wanting more. i ripped off my panties, enjoying it even more raw. the more i rubbed, the more vigorous i got. it was throbbing now, begging for those fingers to slide right in. i moaned at the thought of it, inserting my middle finger into my clit, pounding it in and out. but 1 wasnt enough, my index finger slid in along with my middle finger going as deep as i could. cum building up, rubbing and fingering myself even harder to the point my legs were shaking. the adrenaline was insane, building up until i moaned so loud my throat hurt. i couldnt stop moaning, it just felt so good. i needed more, i craved more. i slammed my draw open and pulled out my dildo. i placed it facing upwards on my floor and yanked my fingers out of my pussy. i started to bounce on it, turning into aggressively riding it and pumping it into my body. god it felt so good. my pussy was dripping wet. i could feel the cum about to leave my body, clenching to not finger myself even more. this lasted a few seconds before it squirted out of me, launching across the room and landing on my door, dripping down. the moan that came out of me was the best one yet. i couldn't help but rub my pussy even more until my brother came in my room. not realising he was home, he said
by sw@ggyp0tat0es February 22, 2024
Get the masturbation mug.A term sometimes used in certain software engineering circles to refer to the excessive use of things like object-oriented programming, specifically its principle of abstraction, to create highly abstract, polymorphic, incomprehensible and unnecessarily complex systems within software instead of keeping things simple.
This is usually practiced by "engineers" who value the "design" of software more than actually delivering value
to the software's users and/or believe that writing software is akin to designing a car or a building. Buildings, for example, cannot easily be torn down again if some part was constructed incorrectly or contains an error, whereas most software can.
While some may argue that it's prudent to keep one's code "clean" or "extendible" and whatnot, excessive abstraction can have the exact opposite effect: You get an unnecessarily complex mess that is extremely hard to untangle once you actually discover a use case which it didn't account for. The result is a "building" that cannot easily be rebuilt - said whiteboard masturbators will then argue, that "it should've just been designed better in the first place" and that the "model wasn't good enough" and will continue to draw UML diagrams that are of no use apart from impressing the sales department.
This is usually practiced by "engineers" who value the "design" of software more than actually delivering value
to the software's users and/or believe that writing software is akin to designing a car or a building. Buildings, for example, cannot easily be torn down again if some part was constructed incorrectly or contains an error, whereas most software can.
While some may argue that it's prudent to keep one's code "clean" or "extendible" and whatnot, excessive abstraction can have the exact opposite effect: You get an unnecessarily complex mess that is extremely hard to untangle once you actually discover a use case which it didn't account for. The result is a "building" that cannot easily be rebuilt - said whiteboard masturbators will then argue, that "it should've just been designed better in the first place" and that the "model wasn't good enough" and will continue to draw UML diagrams that are of no use apart from impressing the sales department.
"Maybe we should use a visitor pattern to separate this strategy from the concrete adapter that is instantiated by our abstract factory so we can guarantee arbitrary observability throughout our proxied chain of responsibility."
"... listen, at this point it's just whiteboard masturbation. Just keep it simple and write a function."
"... listen, at this point it's just whiteboard masturbation. Just keep it simple and write a function."
by Aequitosh February 28, 2024
Get the whiteboard masturbation mug.i.e. this is when one derives sexual pleasure contemplating an object or subject, and/or overthinking something outwith their expertise resulting in grandiosity from confirmation bias
by BitchfinderGeneral March 5, 2024
Get the Intellectual Masturbation mug.by eyd1804 March 11, 2024
Get the deranged masturbation mug.What people do when they are horny
You probably are horny right now, so here goes nothing
*He dimmed his lights, his heart beating in anticipation. His pants felt too tight, and he sat down on his chair, opening his laptop. He clicked on porn hub, and luckily he was home alone so he played the dirty moans at full volume. He put his palm on his pants, feeling his hardening cock. He pressed against it, shuddering in pleasure. The video intensified, making him even more desperate, so he quickly unbuttons his pants and lets his dick breathe. It’s slick with precum, and he keeps his eyes glued to the hot video as his fist closes over his thick member. He lets out a shudder, then pumps his fist, slowly at first. He then starts going faster, thrusting his hips into his hand, jerking himself off. He feels his cock get heavy, ready to cum. And he stops. He knows it’ll all pay off when he has an even better orgasm after edging. He pants, his high going down. He slowly rubs the tip of his cock with his forefinger and thumb, whimpering. Then he enclosed it in his fist again, slowly getting faster and faster as his moans mingled in with the videos. He felt his cock fill up again and his balls tighten, and with one last thrust, he orgasmed. Hot streams of cum shot out from his cock, splattering on his stomach. He shot far, and kept rubbing his cock as he went down from his high.*
You probably are horny right now, so here goes nothing
*He dimmed his lights, his heart beating in anticipation. His pants felt too tight, and he sat down on his chair, opening his laptop. He clicked on porn hub, and luckily he was home alone so he played the dirty moans at full volume. He put his palm on his pants, feeling his hardening cock. He pressed against it, shuddering in pleasure. The video intensified, making him even more desperate, so he quickly unbuttons his pants and lets his dick breathe. It’s slick with precum, and he keeps his eyes glued to the hot video as his fist closes over his thick member. He lets out a shudder, then pumps his fist, slowly at first. He then starts going faster, thrusting his hips into his hand, jerking himself off. He feels his cock get heavy, ready to cum. And he stops. He knows it’ll all pay off when he has an even better orgasm after edging. He pants, his high going down. He slowly rubs the tip of his cock with his forefinger and thumb, whimpering. Then he enclosed it in his fist again, slowly getting faster and faster as his moans mingled in with the videos. He felt his cock fill up again and his balls tighten, and with one last thrust, he orgasmed. Hot streams of cum shot out from his cock, splattering on his stomach. He shot far, and kept rubbing his cock as he went down from his high.*
I was horny so I masturbated.
by superhornydefinitions March 18, 2024
Get the masturbate mug.by StarSoupMan March 28, 2024
Get the Mustn't Masturbate March mug.Robert loved masturbating. Every day after school, he would go in his room, lock the door, and go on Jerkmate. He would pull down his pants and underpants and click on the perfect stream. When he saw the girl rub the dildo on her massive tits, he started masturbating his dick. Then when she got to shoving the dildo up her asshole, Robert would start masturbating even faster. At this point, his dick was covered in precum. Now, the girl was shoving the dildo up her pussy. Robert was masturbating even harder, his hands getting tired, but he still perservered. He felt the cum getting to the head. Finally, Robert let a big moan as he cummed all over under the desk. Robert felt like he could jizz one more time, so he continued beating his meat as he clicked on another live stream. Robert, being the gooner that he is, ejactulated again, this time not white, but a pinkish-red color. He was horrified. He then died after peeing all of his blood out.
by MyCockIsBigAndBlack October 5, 2025
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