Jesus Antlers

An abstract concept that generalizes what every white blooded American should stand for.

Cletus - Wesley, did ya remember to pick up that case of PBR and the mountain dew?
Wesley - Hell yeah, I'm always wearing my Jesus Antlers.

by Batdad Merla February 17, 2013

Jesus Brace

n. Colloquial, Possibly Australian

See also oh shit bar

Found in automobiles, but appear to serve no purpose other than
a) assisting corpulent persons and/or people to alight the vehicle
b) grabbing on to in times of a potential accident to brace oneself, i.e driver exceeding the speed limit

So called for one of two reasons
i) person grabbing the 'brace' praying to their respective deity to avoid the accident, being an english term this is most likely to be a christian, hence use of 'Jesus'
ii) person audibly exclaiming 'Jesus!'in the same situation as above

In absence of a bar, may also be referred to as a 'Jesus Strap'

Jim clutched the Jesus Brace as his brother went drifting through the mountains Initial D style

by andrewfx51 April 3, 2009

Skeet Jesus

When I person wanking, they blow their load onto a wall or bedshet, or your best friends mom. It makes the appearance of Jesus Christ himself.

Chip made a Skeet Jesus on Matt's mom!

by Holyswagness December 31, 2013

porcelain jesus

Any toilet in which one part takes in excretion.

Ex.

To shit or piss
To throw up

Fuck , did you see Rihanna sucking Charlie Sheens cock on the porcelain jesus? Dude got a blumpkin! LEGENDARY!

by PattyCakes May 3, 2018

beach jesus

That guy with jesus like hair found on the beach always without a shirt. He is seen commonly fishing or walking the beach without a shirt on. Always has beer, and always offers one to you.

Guy 1: Did you see Beach Jesus there today on the beach?
Guy 2: Yeah he gave me a beer and showed me where the babes hang out.

by Zc33 May 8, 2018

Traffic Jesus

A driver (male/female) known to ALWAYS allow others the right-of-way, often causing his/her passengers to become angry at them for being overly nice to any and all traffic.

Dan: "Dude, your dad is always letting other people go first, even when it's HIS turn. No wonder we're always late.."

Chris:"I know man, he's a total traffic jesus."

by SeñorFrog January 23, 2017

Lesbian Jesus

An ethereal being, If you find a hot gay being, There is a chance that they are Lesbian Jesus. They lord over and watch over gays. You will know you have met Lesbian Jesus if they bless your fucking soul by saying "Gay gay homosexual gay." NOT ALL GAYS ARE LESBIAN JESUS.

Gay #1: ITS LESBIAN FUCKING JESUS
Gay #2: FUCK WE GOTTA BOW

Lesbian jesus is a gay being

by Lesbianjesusfolower#582 June 28, 2023