Panda

The most retarded animal that ever walked this earth. Due to its size it should eat things like a horse made of chocolate and whey powder, but instead it decides to eat the least nutritious food that exists: bamboo. Because of this low nutrition a panda needs to eat around 500 stems each day which takes up all the time they spend being awake. The rest of the time they sleep.

They are almost extinct is for three reasons:
1. When the bamboo in the area they reside runs out, they are too lazy to move their fat asses anywhere else
2. They do not fornicate. But how can you blame them when they spend their entire day eating
3. Natural selection

They are not yet extinct for two correlated reasons:
1. They look ‘cute’
2. Human stupidity

I hereby nominate the entire panda species for the Darwin Award.

Panda A: I'm Hungry
Panda B: Yeah, me too

SPOILER:
They die

by Binque May 27, 2014

panda

A man who has lost his sense of masculinity and manliness to such a degree that he wouldn't survive without the security and basic resources that society provides. He's much like the panda in the zoo who is entirely dependent upon zookeepers for bamboo and protection from predators. Often the end result of extreme metrosexuality.

"Roger is a total panda. Whenever a lightbulb burns out, he has to pay someone to fix it."
"Jim walked me home last night but I felt like I was protecting him. He's such a panda."

by Relationflip July 1, 2014

panda downs

When you eat at panda express and after 1-2 hours you feel awful, tired, and regretful that you ate there.

Yo I'd love to play basketball later but I just had lunch and got the worst case of panda downs.

by melksteak April 30, 2015

Panda PlaySafe

A playground that provides sustainability, safety and fun! All children loves the company and is asking all schools to buy it. The contract has been given to this playground company from Stonebridge Public School .

Everyone loves Panda PlaySafe

by PandaPlaySafe June 27, 2015

Panda Express

A sexual position, where the girl is bent over with her hands on the ground in front of her, with the guy behind her holding her hair. Can be used for any type of intercourse.

Last night, he Panda Expressed me until I couldn't stand up straight!!

by Kittykat_84 August 27, 2015

panda bub

A girl with a chubby face that has black hair and is white.(the colours of a panda)

James:"Sophie looks exactly like a panda bub."

by #LovePanda's July 28, 2016

Panda

A fuck ton of alcohol in a miniature black and white trailer.

Yo dude lets get a fuckin panda and throw a rager

by sarcastastical July 10, 2016