by ButchNochance February 3, 2022
Get the Your Aunt Esther mug.I’ve been suffering from severe acute nocockin for over two weeks. If I don’t get laid soon I’m gonna snap.
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Some doctors liken it to a tree trunk. Others to a length of anchor rope. And still others compare it to a barber's pole. Whatever it's true dimensions, Edgar Acuña is stuck with a gigantic penis, and science can't help him.
Diagnosed with Phallumegaly (bigness of penis) at a young age, Edgar Acuña grew up without learning how to ride bike... without being able to play little league (protective cups are too small)... without being able to feel comfortable in a locker room or a regular pair of shorts. And it looks as though he'll never be able to enjoy those everyday pleasures.
Recently rejected for yet another risky penis reduction surgery, Edgar is lost. Medical professionals are afraid to operate on his Neanderthal club-sized penis out of a fear of massive blood loss. "When you've got a cannon like Edgar’s, the risk inherent with an invasive procedure is simply too dangerous," explains Dr. Emily Granverse of Institute of Phallumegaly. "I'm afraid Mr. Acuña’s will just have to stumble through life with what seems like, in many respects, a third femur."
Edgar will have to wait for what might be a long, long, long time.
Diagnosed with Phallumegaly (bigness of penis) at a young age, Edgar Acuña grew up without learning how to ride bike... without being able to play little league (protective cups are too small)... without being able to feel comfortable in a locker room or a regular pair of shorts. And it looks as though he'll never be able to enjoy those everyday pleasures.
Recently rejected for yet another risky penis reduction surgery, Edgar is lost. Medical professionals are afraid to operate on his Neanderthal club-sized penis out of a fear of massive blood loss. "When you've got a cannon like Edgar’s, the risk inherent with an invasive procedure is simply too dangerous," explains Dr. Emily Granverse of Institute of Phallumegaly. "I'm afraid Mr. Acuña’s will just have to stumble through life with what seems like, in many respects, a third femur."
Edgar will have to wait for what might be a long, long, long time.
by Ahkuna April 20, 2022
Get the Edgar Acuña mug.A broke auntie is someone (mostly a woman) who is either so occupied in life that they can’t take care of themselves or someone who has been through a lot of shit or has mental health problems which causes them to completely let themselves go. They also have really messy and tangled hair because they haven’t showered in weeks/days, their blonde/brown/ginger/etc roots are coming in if they’ve dyed their hair.
Their legs/armpits/body is really hairy because they haven’t shaved or showered in weeks/days because of everything going on in their life. They are also really ugly people, *no offense, please don’t take this too seriously*, and I know what you might be thinking “okay, maybe some but not all of them”, but no, I mean it, all of them are ugly and it’s a FACT not an opinion.
Keep in mind you don’t have to be broke or an auntie to be like this or to fit this description. It all just depends on the way that one looks and acts. And besides it’s just a stereotype that isn’t meant to be taken seriously at all.
Their legs/armpits/body is really hairy because they haven’t shaved or showered in weeks/days because of everything going on in their life. They are also really ugly people, *no offense, please don’t take this too seriously*, and I know what you might be thinking “okay, maybe some but not all of them”, but no, I mean it, all of them are ugly and it’s a FACT not an opinion.
Keep in mind you don’t have to be broke or an auntie to be like this or to fit this description. It all just depends on the way that one looks and acts. And besides it’s just a stereotype that isn’t meant to be taken seriously at all.
Tiffany: I need to do something with myself, I look like… somebody’s broke auntie.
Random person: Just take a FUCKING SHOWER!!!
Random person: Just take a FUCKING SHOWER!!!
by CallMeCrimson44 June 20, 2022
Get the broke auntie mug.Masons aunt loves getting fucked by masons friends and loves there sex with all of her nephews friends and loves dick and cum on her tits
by Masons Friend August 22, 2022
Get the masons aunt mug.Sima Aunty is a matchmaker in Mumbai, India. She acted in Netflix's Indian Matchmaking show.
- She often expresses her opinions that some matches would not work.
- She states that 100 percent of anything can be found in your partner of what you expect. "Only 60-70%" is in her words, what you can get in your partner.
- She infamously uses the suffix "from Mumbai" everywhere she introduces herself. So, the audience satirically uses the "from Mumbai" suffix as such whenever they refer to her.
- She often expresses her opinions that some matches would not work.
- She states that 100 percent of anything can be found in your partner of what you expect. "Only 60-70%" is in her words, what you can get in your partner.
- She infamously uses the suffix "from Mumbai" everywhere she introduces herself. So, the audience satirically uses the "from Mumbai" suffix as such whenever they refer to her.
Friend: OMG! Nick Jonas and Priyanka are a perfect match.
Me: Ofcourse they are, but Sima Aunty from Mumbai would say they are not a good match because of age difference.
Friend: Imagine you get to meet Sima from Mumbai, how would you greet her?
Me: I would bend only 60-70% to touch the feet, not 100%.
Friend: and when she would say "I am Sima, from Mumbai", how would you react?
Me: I would say "I am Hemish, from Earth."
Me: Ofcourse they are, but Sima Aunty from Mumbai would say they are not a good match because of age difference.
Friend: Imagine you get to meet Sima from Mumbai, how would you greet her?
Me: I would bend only 60-70% to touch the feet, not 100%.
Friend: and when she would say "I am Sima, from Mumbai", how would you react?
Me: I would say "I am Hemish, from Earth."
by he.mi.sh October 17, 2022
Get the Sima Aunty from Mumbai mug.by WildWoman15 November 15, 2022
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