The Sims

An alright game, with about several million difficulties in The Sims AI...

Sim 1: ZZzzzzz....

-Alarm goes off-

Sim 1: WTF!? Crap, my alarm. I better go to work. Oh no I have to crap, and I can't go through that doorway into the bathroom because a bookcase is slightly blocking it. OH CRAP!

-pisses on floor-

Sim 1: Oh god, my hands are filthy from pissing! I must wash them!

-Sim 1 glances at clock-

Sim 1: 7:59am? I've got plenty of time! Nothing can stop me from washing my stinkin' hands, and I'm still in my pajamas. I'm also about to die of hunger because I wanted to play goddamn basketball all of yesterday, which is my only day off for the whole week!

-crappy carpool pulls up at driveway, stays for three seconds, and quickly speeds off-

Sim 1: Oh well. I'll be fired from my job which I have worked for about five months, without a single promotion, because I couldn't make any friends due to the fact my
house's front yard is uneven, and I can't build any pathways or even the ground out because I have no money, due to the fact I spent it all to make myself happy with an art easel that he barely ever uses. I'm hungry!

-Sim 1 screams and has fit-

Sim 1: Here is my wife, Bella, strolling around the house reading books and poking at the dead fish in the aquarium that we forgot to feed.

Bella: Sims ajhda dasdhasd hgas hdgas hdg!

-Bella points at her stomach-

Sim 1: Oh god, she's hungry again. And I keep telling you, Bella, stop talking in incoherent mumblings! Use your thought-bubbles and speech-bubbles!!

Bella: -creates thought bubble thinking of a cross over Sim 1-

Sim 1: Much better. Anyway, I hear the Repo Man clearing out our house due to unpaid bills! Better rescue our darling daughter from the attic!

Bella: -creates speech bubble picturing a girl with a cross over her-

Sim 1: Oh, right. She's at Military School because we forgot to set her alarm to wake up at the right time... whoops!

-Repo Man claims piano, fridge, TV, bookcase, dead fish, table, five chairs, couch, wardrobe, double bed, single bed, and then the art easel-

Sim 1: Awww! My art easel that I never use!

Bella: -creates speech bubble with tombstone on it-

Sim 1: What are you talking ab-oh crap.

-Bella keels over onto the floor and the Grim Reaper comes in-

Sim 1: Oh my god! My darling Bella! Please, Grim Reaper sir, please bring her back!

-Grim Reaper motions for Paper Scissors Rock-

Sim 1: Alright.

-Sim 1 loses-

Sim 1: SHIT.

-Grim Reaper goes away, and the body of Bella turns into an ornament-

Sim 1: NOOOOO! BELLA WHYY!?!
-cries for eight hours at tombstone-
Oh damn I'm getting hungry. Nevermind, I'm dirty again, somehow. I better go brush my teeth, which is stupid because
I am completely filthy and need a bath, or shower. Ok, my teeth are clean, now since I'm at a mirror, I need to practice my charisma until I pass out...

-hears improvement music in backround after six hours-

Sim 1: YES! I did i..i...t... -passes out-

-Sim 1 falls asleep and wakes up again. Sim 1 calls for pizza-

Sim 1: GSG SDAHGD AJSDG hsgahgdajs hgdkjaH GJHGSAjhg fiASHDAG.

Pizza Service: SHJGDA SKJGD7Y WG $40 DGAG SAHDASDF VSADVGFAGF.

Sim 1: sad sahd.

-Sim 1 hangs up-

Sim 1: I'm still tired. The pizza service will take an hour, I might as well go to bed, and wake up at half past. Even with 30 minutes, I will not make it anyway because it takes me an hour to travel downstairs and take the longest and most drawn out route availible to the front door to grab a pizza which won't appetise me fully at all.

-Sim 1 feels funny-

Sim 1: Erm... I feel... dizzy... -dies-

You: OMFG! FINALLY! I THOUGHT HE'D NEVER DIE! OMFG I HATE THIS GAME!

-You smash computer-

That game sucks. Honestly. Don't buy The Sims.

by Tattaglia December 10, 2006

Stimpson J. Cat

Stimpy's full name from "The Ren & Stimpy Show," as revealed in the episode "Stimpy's Big Day."

Are you Stimpson J. Cat?

by moogmagician July 22, 2012

sims binge

Usually occurs when one plays the Sims (most notably Sims 2, Sims 3 or Sim City) non-stop for 5-24+ hours and then sleeps and crashes, then continue this pattern for the next 1 to 2 1/2 weeks. After said period of time, players often "burn out" and stop playing the Sims for months on end (sometimes a year+) only to repeat the process again later in life.

Dude, for the first two weeks of summer, I played the Sims and pulled an all nighter at least 5 times! It was the ultimate sims binge!

by randomuser009 April 19, 2018

Stimmy Dinny

When one gets their stimulus check and spends it on an elaborate dinner spread, where they treat all of their friends. A Stimmy Dinny is usually at a Red Lobster or some other greasy chain restaurant.

Lyn got a fat stimmy check yesterday, she said, “ hey Keoki, Let’s get our Stimmy Dinny on tonight...”

by Geo fence March 18, 2021

jumbo stems

calves and ankles with greater circumference than normal, bearing similarity to baby elephant legs and young trees, hence jumbo + stems. Often covered by brown woollen socks to inadvertently accentuate mass of lower leg. See also cankles, but note jumbo stems have different ratio to knees and thighs. Sometimes refered to as Christian legs

From the silhouette I thought it was Jaja Binks, but then realized it was Greta with her jumbo stems.

by meddlesome priest April 1, 2009

Sims 3

A game that is very entertaining and part of the blockbuster Maxis series. It has amazing graphics, but takes a supercomputer from the FBI just to run it. It also takes a very long time just to load it.

Anne: Hey, did you get the Sims 3 for your birthday, like you asked?

Maddie: Yeah, I got it, but it keeps crashing my computer. For the ten minutes I was on it, though, it was amazing - when it wasn't loading.

by Princess_Marie January 11, 2011

The Sims 3

A game which requires a massive supercomputer from the year 3000 to run on its lowest settings.

Bob: The Sims 3 Was Released Today! I can't wait to play it on my laptop!
John: Good luck installing it dude...

by PCs are crap for video games June 2, 2009