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Rectal Invasion

When a foreign object enters your anus at high speed, usually without prior pretence or notice.
Person 1: "John, can you pass me the Physics book?"

Person 2: "No Ben, I am currently experiencing unplanned Rectal Invasion!!"
by HandFlapper403 April 26, 2011
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Rectal Myopia

The most widely used excuse given for absence from school/work. One's inability to see one's ass coming in today.
Mr. Taylor, It's Chip. I'm afraid I won't be able to make it into the office today. I have rectal myopia.
by Chipwich74 December 9, 2012
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Related Words

Rectal Spasm

When ecto gunk explodes from the rear.
"Dayum, I was just chillin, mindin mah own business, when all of a sudden I had a rectal spasm! That shiz is messy!"
by Squaddeh June 21, 2012
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retaliatory masturbation

The act of masturbating over somebody who annoys you, in retaliation. Could be used as an act of revenge or just as an excuse to masturbate over them.
Man 1: 'Hey dude, that really really really really hot girl unfriended me on Facebook.'
Man 2: 'What are you gonna do about it mate?'
Man 1: 'Chillax mate, I already got her back through retaliatory masturbation.'
by Alan Pincus13 November 26, 2013
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Restaurant Theory

An across-the-room connection with a girl or guy, where you know you'll likely never encounter them again. You want to talk or flirt with them but you don't, it just stays a subtle connection. Unless it's all in your head
Bro I just had this restaurant theory with a chick who looked like the dragon queen from game of thrones!

Man that ugly girl was just eye-fucking the shit out of me, she probably thought we were having the old restaurant theory. God bless her!
by Shortest shorts September 23, 2015
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rectal jousting

A competition of masculine will, where two men align their buttholes against one another, and the first one to shit wins the match.
Bryan wanted to prove he was manlier than Steve, so Bryan challenged Steve to a game of rectal jousting. Bryan shit first, and won the battle, proving his masculinity was far greater than pansy-assed Steve.
by AmazingAnus January 23, 2017
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Restart

A misspelling of the word "retard" that means the same thing. Also a way to censor "retard" or "retarded" in a way that is publicly accepted as "retard" is seen as somewhat offensive.
"Wow so funny I didn't mean to yell at a restart"
by Mikael Montgomery July 8, 2020
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