bar furniture

Stools; a slightly cryptic way to talk about poop in polite company.

Man, I need to eat more fiber. I haven't seen bar furniture in days.

Dude, you should go shower, you totally smell like bar furniture.

by chinesedentist December 15, 2010

Furniture Orgasm

A furniture orgasm is when a sales person gets an orgasm from new furniture and/or new fabrics that they receive from furniture manufactures.

Susan and Brendon both had furniture orgasms when they saw the new furniture and fabric that was going to be put on the showroom floor.

by TheFurnitureGal May 21, 2011

move furniture

To have sex with a large woman.

"Did you move furniture last night?"

"Yeah, I fucked a human couch."

by leRayMoo September 19, 2014

funture

an adjective used for a fun adventure.
FUN+advenTURE

"omg me and my boyfriend went into the woods..."
"IT WAS SO FUNTURE"

by emily morrison June 13, 2007

licking furniture

The act of oral sex between two females.

Lori really likes when Jess licks her furniture.

Both of them enjoy licking furniture.

by tes272 August 14, 2014

Patty O'furniture

Patty O'furniture is the owner of a kickass woodworking business called Patty O'concepts that makes sweet American and Texas flags out of wood and can be found on facebook.

Did you hear that Patty O'furniture started a business called Patty O'concepts?

I just bought a massive custom made flag from Patty O'furniture and it's badass!

by TXsoldier429 December 20, 2016

furniture salesperson

A poor bastard who sales furniture, lamps, recliners and bedding. One who lies to people about their taste in home furnishings. A person who listens to constant whinning about prices, listens to rambling about a house decore they don't give a shit about. When this simpleton finally closes the sale the buyer immediately begins to complain about the product.
A furniture salesperson might have to view buggars on the bottom of a recliner brought in for repair, might be exposed to the piss on mattress sent back to the store.
The furniture salesperson is always nice at work and a real ass hole at home. They have held as long as they can!

customer= JUST LOOKING!
furniture Salesperson- can I help you find something
customer- do you have a floral camel back sofa up on legs, maybe one you repoed. My credit ain't so good. Do you guys have 12 month same as cash?
furniture Salesperson- No we only sale new furniture, have you tried the flea market or a yard sale?

by mannman November 10, 2009