Punctured penis pals

When males' testicles or 'penis pals' retract and shrivel as if there were balloons that had met a needle. Sometimes due to cold, but primarily in this case due to fear.

The puncturing aspect of the aforementioned gentleman imagining his balls being stabbed with a sharp implement can often lead to a re-retraction.

"Oh baby, aren't you keen to have a go with this strap-on? I've ubed it well but you've still got punctured penis pals"
"What the f@£k are you talking 'bout?"
"You're balls look like a couple of balloons that have been popped by a pin"
"That's not really helping honey!"

She realised she'd revealed too much about her job in the STI clinic as she noticed she'd his previously budding sack had been replaced by punctured penis pals

by RastaVari August 19, 2013

beam penis

A beam penis is a penis with a girth so thick and length so straight it can be used as a building beam.

Man, that guy gets all the chicks with his beam penis.

by Champions of Phrase-penis October 14, 2014

toad penis

When the mushroom head of the penis has warts.

There was no way I was have sex with that toad penis.

by Badass36 August 15, 2015

Brutal Penis Shoveling

A type of scissoring that involves both a male and female while the male is still not erect.

The man was brutal penis shoveling the woman's hole.

by ChloeV124 November 30, 2016

Nobel Penis

Inspiring world peace one cum shot at a time. Keeping your girlfriend kind to the world be giving her orgasmic sex.

Thanks to his nobel penis I have had a shot of kindness and am spreading joy today. I'm so thankful for his punctual penis.

by Amphibious Goddess January 8, 2017

platinum penis

Male reproductive organ capable of producing superhuman offspring when introduced into Platinum female organ.

They conceived Superman due to his Platinum penis and her Platinum vagina.

by Bossman_Interpretations January 16, 2017

Wallpapered Penis

When your girl gives you road head and can't find anything to clean you up with but the napkins she stole from Tim Hortons which are better for donut frosting than they are for trouser gravy leaving pieces of napkin glued to your flagstaff thus resulting in a wallpapered penis.

Hey babe I stashed a pack of baby wipes in the console so I don't end up with a wallpapered penis again like the last trip we took!

by TumTum816 January 29, 2017