Jesus wheels

Your legs, the simplest mode of transport. Often said in jest or sardonically

Max: How did you get here?
Min: Oh,on jesus wheels...

by Thought101 February 17, 2008

jesus is my nigga

What a white Christian man says when he is trying to get black people to join his religion. He usually ends up being beaten up.

"Remember, Jesus is my nigga and Jesus is your nigga!"

by RaskBunzzz June 28, 2019

Jesusween

A “substitute” for Halloween invented by far right wing “Christians” who are against anything that’s fun because their right wing version of Jesus wants them to be lame and boring.

My parents won’t let me go trick or treating cause they’re taking me to their mega church against my own will for Jesusween.

by Patriotic Leftie October 18, 2021

club jesus

(Noun). Christian church.

"what R U doing this sunday?" Oh, I'm going to the club. "What club?" Club Jesus!!!

by PartyGuy(C) May 31, 2007

facebook jesus

when miracles happen via facebook you thank your online savior.

I never have to talk to that girl again b/c she saw my tagged pics on facebook. Thank you facebook Jesus.

by matt5000 June 28, 2010

Jesus

A short, fat mexican kid who can usually get you drugs.

Guy: "Yo Jesus! You got any weed for me bitch?"

Jesus: *in mexican accent* "yea man, Uncle Tony hooked me up again bro"

by call_me_dylan April 3, 2019

Purple Jesus party

A party in which a wine-based punch is served in large quantities. The partygoers' lips are purple and the first words to be uttered the following morning are "Jesus, I'm never drinking again."

Guy 1: We should hit up Kenny's Purple Jesus party tonight.

Guy 2: Meh, I've gotta work tomorrow. The last thing I need is a purple mouth and a mean hangover.

by Slim415 December 20, 2008