Cake On Top Of The Candle

When a chick (normally with a fat-ass) sits right on the top of a guy's full blown boner. *It hurts like hell*

Guy 1: Damn bro, you good? Why are you holding your dick like that?
Guy 2: I just came from inside the party. There was this BAAAD BITCH with a huge butt...
Guy 1: Ayyyye! My boy got some ass!
Guy 2: Well it was good and all at first when she was grinding on me. Out of nowhere I looked down and I had a full-f*cking-chub!
Guy 1: And you f*cked her?! Congrats bro, didn't you had it in you.
Guy 2: Not exactly, I took a seat and didn't realize my little man was standing tall. All of a sudden her ginormous ass crushed my dick and bent it. SHE BENT MY F*CKING BONER!!!
Guy 1: Ouch...Cake On Top Of The Candle?
Guy 2: Exactly...*Falls over passed out*

by Mr. Anonymous435 January 26, 2015

Can't light a birthday candle with a blowtorch

Idiom. Used to describe a person's lack of intelligence or inability to perform/achieve a simple task.

Is it any surprise how badly he did? That idiot can't light a birthday candle with a blowtorch.

by Catfish Baruni June 16, 2016

wetter than a nun in a candle shop

when something is truly sopping wet

*steps into puddle with only socks on*
"ugh... my sock is wetter than a nun in a candle shop"

by Freddie21 April 9, 2021

we have decided to move forward with other candidates at this time

The last thing you'd wanna hear after a job interview, especially when you thought you did well

*receives email notification*
email: We HaVe DeCiDeD tO mOvE fOrWaRd WiTh OtHeR cAnDiDaTeS aT tHiS tImE
Me: FUUUUUUUUUUUU

by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian August 31, 2022