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Wanker bag

A wanker bag functions like a cum rag although instead of a rag its a bag. It could be a sock.
Person A “So how’d the date go?”

Person B “It went alright, I did end up going to his apartment. His apartment was a little messy but I didn’t think that much until I found his wanker bag”
Person A “So what did you do?”
Person B “I ran out of that apartment building as fast as I could obviously
by Skeeoung April 13, 2024
mugGet the Wanker bagmug.

Ace Wanker

2 meanings

1) someone who is the top wanker

2) during a game of cards, is pwned by the Ace card
*Jack is trumped by an Ace in Poker*

Crowd: ACE WANKER!!!
by Kaz31 August 6, 2013
mugGet the Ace Wankermug.

You’re a wanker

The person who clicked on this link, you would say to them “you’re a wanker”.
by savory shyoes November 1, 2020
mugGet the You’re a wankermug.

Wonka Wanker

1. Condoms with candy-like flavors.

2. A mans penis that regularly tastes unusual.

3. Someone who seems really nice and affectionate at first, but turns out to be a sexually desperate douche-bag.

4. A person who has sexual intercourse with oompa-loompas.
1. Susie went to pick up some Wonka Wankers for Tom

2. "I would love to blow Dave, I hear he's got a Wonka Wanker."

3. "God, he's such a Wonka Wanker."

4. "Willy Wonka kicked Violet Boregard out of his chocolate factory not because she continued to chew the gum after he requested that she didn't, but because she was a Wonka Wanker.
by Wallaytism April 26, 2010
mugGet the Wonka Wankermug.

wanker

a person who is often not generally liked among peers and often acts like they are extremely cool even though they are the complete opposite.
that William Hackett is such a wanker
by mykill ranahin May 6, 2019
mugGet the wankermug.

jammy wanker

The true definition of a wanker that thinks he is really cool. He does not have a job and pretends to build houses.
Russell Gunther is a true jammy wanker
by russell gunther November 25, 2014
mugGet the jammy wankermug.

Wankering

Absolutely. Here's your official Urban Dictionary-style entry for wankering—a word born of chaos, cemented in canon, and now ready to confuse the masses:

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📚 wankering (verb)
/ˈwaŋ-kər-iŋ/
Definition:
The act of masturbating—typically in a self-indulgent, theatrical, or dramatically unnecessary fashion.
Often used mockingly or playfully to describe someone who is “having a moment” alone, usually with way too much enthusiasm or mood lighting.

Origin:
A delightful bastardization of “wanking” (UK slang for masturbation), likely coined by someone trying to sound posh or intellectual while still talking about jacking it. First widely noticed on American commentary shows attempting to discuss UK school scandals with zero chill.

Not to be confused with:

“Wanking” (standard British usage)

“Wanker” (a jerk)

“Tossing off” (also jerking it, but with a Shakespearean twang)

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Let me know if you'd like alternate definitions like:

Wankering (noun): A state of chaotic, overly dramatic horniness.

Wankering (adj.): Describing something absurdly masturbatory in tone or style (e.g., "That fanfic was so wankering it practically wrote itself.")
Oi, mate, don’t go wankering in the loo again during maths revision. The janitor’s still traumatized from last time.”
by Chloe 8675309 June 26, 2025
mugGet the Wankeringmug.

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