IT Dust Monkey

An IT manager, IT technician or IT support officer who uses air cans to clear filthy dust out of dirty old PC's, thus contaminating the office air for all non-IT staff to have to inhale.

Kevin the IT Dust Monkey says
"This laptop is over-heating, I think it's because of dust contamination around the CPU and cooling fans. I am going to use my magic air cans to remove the dust."

Nigel says
"That's not healthy". That means you and your colleagues are going to have to inhale filthy dust full of skin cells, dust mites, pet hair, micro-organisms and general filth. Can't you keep a vacuum cleaner close by - at a sufficient distance to prevent causing static but close enough to capture the disturbed dust, do it outdoors or in a well ventilated area?"

Kevin says, in typical IT Dust Monkey style - nothing - and caries on spraying dust all over the office.

by CheekyChappy November 23, 2011

brazilian anal dwelling monkey

A rare species of small monkey that you find deep in the Amazon jungle , it's particulary fond of setting up home in European explorers anal cavities as it's generally drier than the wet rain forest they noramlly inhabit

Sir Henry Hornchurch the great explorer : Hey basil my anus has been giving me grief since we set up camp I can't stop itching my rectum !!!
Basil Rathbone M.B.E. : My god Henry there is a Brazilian anal dwelling monkey half way up your ass hole shall I tie some vines round it and pull it out..... Henry : mmmmmm oohhhhhh aaahhhhhhh no Basil i like the feeling......go deeper you naughty Brazilian anal dwelling monkey deeper

Basil : I'm taking one home as a pet

by The double vulcan December 23, 2015

8 handed monkey

8 handed monkey - put your partner in downward dog position, place your left hand palm up rubbing the center of the clit with thumb while applying pressure above the pubic bone with middle, index and ring finger. Place Right hand flat against buttocks under your chin with middle and ring finger inserted in vagina with a slight rotational and thrusting motion, drop your thumb down with the same hand and massage below the clitorus all while performing analingus. WARNING: THIS SHOULD NOT BE ATTEMPTED BY AMATEURS OR PERSONS BELOW THE AGE OF 27!!!!!!

Successfully created and practiced by A.C. & D.M.

Last night John performed the 8 handed monkey on me and it was GREAT!

by Monkey Business 909 March 5, 2017

freeze the monkey

Banging a snowman

When its winter i like to make a snowmen to freeze the monkey

by ILoveEcchiAnime August 10, 2019

Boh-Boh the monkey

The overlord of us all

Praise the Lord of us all Boh-Boh the monkey

by Anybody American October 12, 2019

Jesus fucked a monkey!

Phrase used when a pub door swings back and nearly dislodges the pyramid of glasses being carried back to table, or when a twat cyclist speeds through a red light at a pedestrian crossing and almost kills you, or practically anytime 'fuckin hell', 'you fuckin twat', or 'shiiiiiiit' simply doesn't cut the mustard.
Used sparingly, it's effective, offensive and infectious.

Jesus fucked a monkey!, watch out twat.

by TauntonJah November 5, 2019

big fat monkey balls

When you need to get out of a conversation in the best way possible

Guy: hey wanna go talk about what happened on June 16th 2012?

Guy 2: big fat monkey balls (walks away)

by A huge fucking idiot October 16, 2022