bearded nail

a johnson, a rod, a spike, a pork sword... it's a man's ding-dong, baby

Girl, his bearded nail made me shake like jelly on a plate

by The Bearded Nail March 22, 2004

Beard Magic

1. An umbrella term referencing all religious laws of an 'irrational' nature, most often found in the Abrahamic faiths and often in the older texts.

2. The correlation between support for hair-brained third-party candidates (i.e. Ron Paul, The Green Party, etc.) and the length and scope of one's facial hair.

Used in a sentence:

1:

"Dude, that Deuteronomy shit is total Beard Magic."

or

"I was going to have sex with Becky but she's on the rag and that would violate the laws of beard magic."

2:

"I swear, the only reason Jack is voting for Kinky Friedman is that kooky beard magic."

"Rob, you don't want to vote libertarian, you're just under the spell of your beard's magic (sic). Shave that shit off."

by agentlorneue September 28, 2009

brown beard

As a man goes down on a woman she farts on his chin and gives him bad breath for the rest of the day. She then kicks him out and tells all of his friends that he has a small penis.

The foo got brown bearded. So none of her girlfriends would call him.

by F Man December 17, 2008

Beardsman

A modern day man, who is a productive member of society, that has a beard and looks after it and himself.

Bill was labelled as the beardsman of the evening given the majestic length of his beard over the other men at the party.

by Fook-ST@R October 19, 2014

Goat's beard

A term taken from the highly historical and accurate series 'Vikings' referring to the female sex organ covered in foliage because presumably they didn't have handy razors way back when.... just big axes

''And the Earl who has nothing between his legs, but a goat's beard''

by Floki the Viking June 18, 2015

Bearded Rascal

An unshorn vagina.

Crusty Sea Pirate (whilst looking at pirate-era porn): "Arg, wouldya look at the bearded rascal on this fine wench!"

by richippr October 1, 2008

Bearded Stanislaw

Sexual position wherein a female with an overly hairy muff (70's style) sits on their partner's face, back to nose, so the bush creates a beard on the sat upon.

With summer approaching, my girl was preparing for bikini time by getting a brazillian wax. I told her, "Hold on, this is a rare opportunity to experience a Bearded Stanislaw."

by G-Lux Chi-Town Melissa January 22, 2009