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Set the table

When a man prepares himself to masterbate, and in preparation for the mess, they lay out tissues or a wash cloth on their stomach to catch the mess.
I didn’t want to have to worry about the mess after I came, so I set the table before I started.
by Ryzonup September 4, 2021
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wet teddy bear table

“Hey is this the dessert table? It looks like the wet teddy bear table”
by Virgo_asg September 11, 2021
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Farm to Table

The act of shaving, then eating, pubic hair of your partner.
James: Hey Kareem, what's up man? How'd your date go last night?

Kareem: Way better then expected. This was the 4th date I went on with Dolores and she's kind of kinky.
James: Is she? She seems pretty tame up when we all got together at the fish fry last weekend.
Kareem: I know she does, but we had some drinks last night and were talking about fetishes. She asked mine and I told her I love farm to table. She was into it.

James: The fuck is farm to table?
Kareem: Shaving a girls pussy, laying it up on her stomach, then nibbling/eating it until it's gone. A girl can do it to me as well if she wants.

James: I have no words...
by hairy_teeth September 27, 2021
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bill the table

the act of calling for one receipt for the whole table and picking it up, rather than splitting meals, appetizers, and costs between the group
Waitress: So is this all together or separate checks?
Tony: I'll get this one.
Mark: You sure man?
Tony: Yeah, I got it. Just bill the table.
by DontAskAgain October 27, 2021
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Peanut Free Table

The lunch table designated for people who are deathly allergic to peanuts to eat at. Usually accompanied by an unoriginal No Peanuts or Tree Nuts sign. Many members of the table are part of a cult organization called Deez Nuts inc. which aims to assassinate the board of directors of the Planters Nut & Chocolate Company. Sometimes used by normal people to help gather their energy to fight through No Nut November.
Cole: Jimmy why are you sitting at the Peanut Free Table?

Jimmy: I am gathering my inner chi to finish the last 7 days of No Nut November.

Cole: Damn I already failed that day 1.
by Track and Shield November 10, 2021
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Peanut Free Table

The table where bringing your PB&J sandwich can get you charged with murder.
Inmate 1: What are you in for?
Inmate 2: I brought a PB&J sandwich to the Peanut Free Table.
Inmate 1: I thought I was the monster.
by Track and Shield November 12, 2021
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The pool table bandit

Someone who steals pool balls and proceeds to ruin every game of pool he can get his hands on. Often waiting for the game to start before slowly making his way to the table to ruin it . The pool table bandit operates alone and takes his time stealing ball to ball.
Watch out this guy seems like the pool table bandit!
by The pool table bandit himself November 22, 2021
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