Cracker Porn

"Reality TV" for rednecks, such as "Duck Dynasty" or "Honey Boo Boo".

You don't have to be a redneck to enjoy cracker porn, but it helps! I don't watch that s*$t personally, but I am looking forward to the inevitable real-porn parody "Dick Dynasty". Or maybe just "F&#k Dynasty". I'm not sure which way they'll go. Maybe they'll do both!

by Poppa Capp December 31, 2013

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covid the cracker

A covidiot circle jerk where participants try to land their ambiguously negative bodily fluids onto a cracker in the middle of the circle. The last guy to land eats the cracker. Covid-19 inspired variant of soak the cracker.

Covid Joe joined his bros down at the lake for a game of covid the cracker.

by bilemonger May 29, 2020

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Cracker Jacker

A prostitute in a predominately white part of town.

Friend 1: What is that, friend?
Friend 2: I don't know, possibly one of those cracker jackers.

by QuestionablyLumpy March 12, 2016

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Cracker Gobbler

I. Someone that only eats dried cum.

II. Someone who talks so much smack so you call them a "cracker gobbler" but they dont understand.

Get a load of this cracker gobbler aye

by Ultimate Cracker Gobbler May 29, 2018

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Magical Cracker

The respective counterpoint to the Magical Negro. A white character in TV or Film Media that solves all the problems of the people around them, using an unreasonably broad range of suspiciously advanced skills or just straight up magic. They are usually female, guardian-type characters with kind demeanours whom also present the constant low-level threat they might put you inside their handbag-porthole if you cross them - never to be seen again.

Julie Andrews is a two-time magical cracker actor.

by David Pakman's Onlyfans May 2, 2021

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