A +18 thing that is in the Olympics where 1. You masturbate until you reach ejaculation or 2. You stop masturbating right before you produce semen
Herby Hancock was desperate to watch the masturbation Olympics
Masturbation Olympics winner: the feeling of winning and ejaculation was so good that infact it is the best day of my life and also my advice is at least don't masturbate for 1 day before you do the masturbation Olympics
Masturbation Olympics winner: the feeling of winning and ejaculation was so good that infact it is the best day of my life and also my advice is at least don't masturbate for 1 day before you do the masturbation Olympics
by Sebastian hiney February 27, 2021

The act of thinking, discussing, and/or philosophizing to no one’s spiritual, mental, or physical benefit, but purely for the sake of one’s own pleasure, intellectual self-satisfaction, and/or pride.
Note: Not all intellectual and philosophical discussion is intellectual masturbation, it only falls under the definition when it doesn’t benefit those in engaged in it, only harms due to wasted time and an artificial satisfaction in one’s self.
Note: Not all intellectual and philosophical discussion is intellectual masturbation, it only falls under the definition when it doesn’t benefit those in engaged in it, only harms due to wasted time and an artificial satisfaction in one’s self.
I remember when all I would do was engage in intellectual masturbation on Discord. I would use fancy words and blabber all day about philosophy, without actually applying it in any way whatsoever. I just derived pleasure from hearing myself speak about such abstract and complex subjects. What a fool I was.
by Tea76Crumpets796 October 1, 2022

A TV show that losers watch to beat off to low-cut Victorian corsets and fade-out sex scenes on PBS Masterpiece, formerly known as Masterpiece Theater.
Derek: Are coming down to the bar Sunday night?
Alistair: Nah, I’m gonna lay back and unzip for Jane Austen on Masturbate Theater.
Alistair: Nah, I’m gonna lay back and unzip for Jane Austen on Masturbate Theater.
by IGKYA53 July 29, 2020

It's a term for masturbating (or busting a nut) before meeting a girl or going on a date. Now.. how is it useful? Well it helps you to think with your brain and not with your dick.
My friend: Bro.... I made a mistake. I accidentally did the deeds with Lily...
Me: God damn Lily???? Bro you really should have tactical masturbation
Me: God damn Lily???? Bro you really should have tactical masturbation
by Harsit2006 December 29, 2023

When you and a partner agree not to masturbate until a certain date but they do it anyway and make you aware of them breaking the promise.
by Spittingstraightfacts January 2, 2020

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<.0.6.7.6.>Psychosomatically Masturbating PsychosocomaticallyarisesisasAresesisaPsychomaticau <.0.6.7.6.0.>
by TheGeneralGenitalsPranksterian May 7, 2025

When someone loves hearing the sound of their own voice, and that person's idea of a conversation is actually a soliloquy or monologue...and simply won't STFU.
Steve appeared to be blissful and aloof, oblivious to the bored and vexed faces of his companions, as he listened to the wall of sound exiting his mouth in yet another round of aural masturbation.
by MoGyver April 8, 2016
