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New Jersey Devils

The most dominant team in the Eastern Conference of the NHL since 1995. They own the New York Rangers and the Philadelphia Flyers. Winners of three Stanley Cups from 1995-2003. They used the neutral zone trap and the skill of their goaltender Martin Brodeur at playing the puck outside the crease to dominate their division and conference for more than a decade. Gary Bettman, a man seemingly intent on destroying hockey, invented the new "Brokeback NHL" in response to the Devils frustrating defensive system that stressed low scoring, defense and winning games and cups instead of the Mark Messier inspired "overpaid whining pussy, no-contact-or-I'll-cry, take-it-in-the-butt" style and attitude that seemed to summarize their cross-river rivals, the NY Rangers and their legion of snivelling, whining, douchebag fans. The Rangers fans are quick to point out the Devils' relative lack of fans, but as an original 6 team in North America's largest city, that just seems like more petty bullshit from a group of people who, despite the fact that they are New York and the salary cap just came into being, have enjoyed exactly 1 Stanley Cup championship since the start of World War II. 3 Cups since 1995 for a team that moved to the suburbs in 1982, or 1 since before Pearl Harbor for New York City, you do the math . . .
Who owns the New York Rangers and Philadelphia Flyers? The New Jersey Devils.

Who effectively ended the NHL career of Eric Lindros? Scott Stevens of the New Jersey Devils on his way to yet another Stanley Cup (fortunately the Rangers then acquired Mr. too-many-headaches Pussy).

The New Jersey Devils were unbeaten against the New York Rangers for 20 games.

Who swept the NY Rangers in the 2006 playoffs? The New Jersey Devils.

Maybe Mike Richter and Brian Leetch would like to look at the 3 Stanley Cup rings owned by Martin Brodeur and Scott Stevens of the New Jersey Devils.

The idea of having to play the New Jersey Devils used to drive Theo Fleury to drink.
by Ken Daneyko March 9, 2007
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jesse mccartney

A nine-year-old girl without the breasts or hair.
"Hey look, it's Jesse McCartney!"
"No, that's my little sister."
by LAM February 27, 2005
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New Jersey

The biggest piece of shit in the UNION. Smells like Bigfoot's dick mixed with Snookie's pussy juice. The arm pits of New York City and Philly. Full of orange blowout faggets that like to fist pump. Does not have the concept of the real world and thinks every one is out the get them. Women are cocky fat sluts who think they are hot and frequent abortion clinics. A place to go if you want to get a blow out from all the pot holes in the streets, and have your car stolen while you go for help. Your only real ambition as a person from New Jersey is to move to New York. A great place to get cheap drugs on any city street corner.
New Jersey, cause hell was full.
by FNJ August 15, 2011
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Jesse McCartney

The VA of Roxas. Very fruity. On the same wavelength as Hannah Montana.
Roxas: Because you live!!!!
Namine: Shut up or I'll strangle you!!!
Roxas: You just hate it when I sing because I sing like Jesse McCartney!!!
by DoodooMan October 29, 2007
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south jersey

The better part of New Jersey. Yes, we have Camden, but overall we are the better half of the state. House prices aren't ridiculous, we have fewer factories, and we have the Jersey Shore. Plus, we roll with Philly, which is a much cleaner and less shitty city than New York.
South Jersey kicks North Jersey's ass any day, motherfuckers!
by Dewey June 21, 2004
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jersey turnpike

in bartending, it is the process of combining all of the alcoholic residue from the bar, cup mats, etc., into a pint glass and giving it to the drunk who keeps asking for more.
Man, I gave Bill a jersey turnpike. In two seconds, the asshole threw up a garden state.
by Tommy Boy March 6, 2005
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New Jersey

By far the worst of all states in the country...And I've lived in 8 states. I'm only here b/c I have to be(military).

#1 highest taxes in the country.
Ugliest beaches of the east coast.
Jug handles...google it if you don't know what these are.
Roads are all untaken care of and riddled with potholes.
Everything is way more expensive than it would be anywhere else.
Jersey has the most reported cases of Lyme Disease.
Scenery=nothing but ugly pine barrons.
Highest auto insurance in the country.
Overpopulation.
Corruption.
High crime.
Can't afford to live somewhere away from the crime unless you make >$500,000 a year.
A $15 toll?

Thats New Jersey for you.
by AfricanSnowOwl January 24, 2011
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