German Army Helmet

A gift you give to another person but really intend to use it or benefit from it yourself.

I got my husband a new lawn mower for Christmas, but it’s really a German army helmet. Now he’ll have to mow our lawn!

I got my roommate a German army helmet for Christmas.. the newest espresso machine! Now I don’t have to go to Starbucks anymore.

by kdawk August 3, 2018

Canadian battle helmet

The Canadian battle helmet is even more sought after than the Canadian belt buckle. It requires greater overall penis length, and fantastic fortitude.

Whereas the Canadian belt buckle requires simply exposing ones testicles (beautiful ones only), the Canadian battle helmet requires much more. To perform this, a males must takes his penis, wrap it around beneath his testicles and have it then drape over on top of the scrotum. This will now resemble a Trojan war helmet: the penis representing the nose guard, and the testicles the eye holes. To be truly successful, a man must use a “male landing strip” of pubic hair, more commonly known as a “genital Carlton”. I have NOT accomplished this task with the genital Carlton.

He totally showed her the Canadian battle helmet! Didn’t know he shaved like that!

by Shoguy32 July 5, 2021

Pork pie helmet

When you stand over a person who is sitting and stretch your scrotum across their forehead

And their she was sitting on the kitchen floor when I snuck up behind her and gave her a pork pie helmet

by THE IRON HIPPIE December 2, 2021

Russian Heat Helmet

It is a combination between a Roman Soldier Helmet and a Heat Pump where in the midst of delivering a Roman Soldier Helmet the male takes either and accidental or purposeful shit on the victims forehead. Thus delivering a hot steamer on their face.

"Thank god we had a load of wet wipes in the next room over because after a few drinks my boyfriend got real wild and gave me A Russian Heat Helmet. It made quite the mess."

by Zeek Shop December 7, 2021

The Rigid Helmet

The historically accurate Viking erotica of J. G. Quintel 's universe in the series "Close Enough". Written by Alex Dorpenberger. Apparently, the erotica is good enough to reverse one's menopause.

Alex: The Rigid Helmet is historically accurate Viking erotica.

by thatVietDude April 12, 2022

sticky roman helmet

When you give it one last yank and then tea bag someone.

Yea he left 25 mins later because he had to yank it before giving his girl a sticky roman helmet.

by caboosesam September 2, 2022

put your helmet on

a saying for retarded people

“Put your helmet on retard!”

by ChubsOrdinary February 26, 2025