Jake had nothing to do and he lived alone so he grabbed his laptop and some lotion. Jake ran to his bedroom. He took his pants off and got under the covers. He put the laptop next to himself and put porn on. He spread the lotion on his hands and started the masturbation process. He got hard instantly and rubbed the lotion on his penis for 5 minutes. Cum came flying out. His covers were ruined. Jack didn't care, he kept going, until he heard a knock on the door. His girlfriend came over with condoms and dildos.
"Sarah don't come in yet!" Jack yelled.
Sarah came in anyway to the sight of Jack masturbating. Sarah lifted her top.
"Bite it off!" Sarah said whilst showing her tits to Jack.
The strange man bit Sarah's bra off and sucked on her tits like there was no tomorrow. Sarah took her pants off and shoved Jack's penis in her vagina and shoved the dildo in her ass. 30 minutes later they're both sleeping doggy style.
"Sarah don't come in yet!" Jack yelled.
Sarah came in anyway to the sight of Jack masturbating. Sarah lifted her top.
"Bite it off!" Sarah said whilst showing her tits to Jack.
The strange man bit Sarah's bra off and sucked on her tits like there was no tomorrow. Sarah took her pants off and shoved Jack's penis in her vagina and shoved the dildo in her ass. 30 minutes later they're both sleeping doggy style.
by cbgfyfhuddddddbvkfegiyyyyyyyyy April 01, 2023
by Cohan the great... April 03, 2021
''Sometimes, uh, people are unable to find other people to partake in certain activities with, in which they will partake in those activities on their own. That, that is the definition-
(H: no it's really not.)
That is KIND OF the definition of masturbation. Ummm and that is all I'm willing to say''
Max (and Harvey) to Tilly in 13 again podcast
(H: no it's really not.)
That is KIND OF the definition of masturbation. Ummm and that is all I'm willing to say''
Max (and Harvey) to Tilly in 13 again podcast
''It looks like you're masturbating.'' was said to Tilly. ''What is masturbation?'' clueless Tilly asked.
by hereforthefunsies January 03, 2025
Well, when you realize that this is the most PURE ACT in the world which is proven by the ultimate ASSHOLE LEADER your ANUS MASTURBATE and that is why it feels so good most of the TIME when SHIT passes from your ANUS into the ASSHOLE to the outside world.
by NOBLE PEACE SUNDER EEE October 13, 2021
A term sometimes used in certain software engineering circles to refer to the excessive use of things like object-oriented programming, specifically its principle of abstraction, to create highly abstract, polymorphic, incomprehensible and unnecessarily complex systems within software instead of keeping things simple.
This is usually practiced by "engineers" who value the "design" of software more than actually delivering value
to the software's users and/or believe that writing software is akin to designing a car or a building. Buildings, for example, cannot easily be torn down again if some part was constructed incorrectly or contains an error, whereas most software can.
While some may argue that it's prudent to keep one's code "clean" or "extendible" and whatnot, excessive abstraction can have the exact opposite effect: You get an unnecessarily complex mess that is extremely hard to untangle once you actually discover a use case which it didn't account for. The result is a "building" that cannot easily be rebuilt - said whiteboard masturbators will then argue, that "it should've just been designed better in the first place" and that the "model wasn't good enough" and will continue to draw UML diagrams that are of no use apart from impressing the sales department.
This is usually practiced by "engineers" who value the "design" of software more than actually delivering value
to the software's users and/or believe that writing software is akin to designing a car or a building. Buildings, for example, cannot easily be torn down again if some part was constructed incorrectly or contains an error, whereas most software can.
While some may argue that it's prudent to keep one's code "clean" or "extendible" and whatnot, excessive abstraction can have the exact opposite effect: You get an unnecessarily complex mess that is extremely hard to untangle once you actually discover a use case which it didn't account for. The result is a "building" that cannot easily be rebuilt - said whiteboard masturbators will then argue, that "it should've just been designed better in the first place" and that the "model wasn't good enough" and will continue to draw UML diagrams that are of no use apart from impressing the sales department.
"Maybe we should use a visitor pattern to separate this strategy from the concrete adapter that is instantiated by our abstract factory so we can guarantee arbitrary observability throughout our proxied chain of responsibility."
"... listen, at this point it's just whiteboard masturbation. Just keep it simple and write a function."
"... listen, at this point it's just whiteboard masturbation. Just keep it simple and write a function."
by Aequitosh February 28, 2024
Its after Finger Free February and its the same ass Destroy Dick December but Mega Masturbation Mars is for girls
by NiceForWhat November 03, 2019
''Dude, after masturbating on a Scottish way it takes a huge amount of time to clean it up.''
- ''Yeah man, that's the disadvantage of Scottish masturbating!''
- ''Yeah man, that's the disadvantage of Scottish masturbating!''
by idgafosoae April 12, 2017