No Jerk off January

A month to purify your soul by avoiding the capital sin of lust.

- Hey dude, have you heard about No Jerk Off January?

- Yeah dude, I am already mentally preparing myself for it.

by Mr. Smarter December 30, 2018

Post Jerk Depression

That feeling of dread and awfulness, when you realize that beating your meat isn't making you happy and you think back about all of your mistakes that lead you to having a twitchy dick in your hand, after busting a nut

My Post Jerk Depression kicked in and I'm ready to die man

by BigDickMcGoo January 26, 2019

Squirrel Jerk

A quick jerk off sesh when you are in a hurry.

John: “yo man let’s go to the club, I’ll pick you up in five”
Bob: “bet. Lemme get a quick squirrel jerk in and I’ll be right out!”

by Gian Luca 2 May 10, 2019

Fake jerk

A jerk who's fake.

The one guy got shot for being a real asshole, but the fake jerk would say he was just kidding after everything he said, so that people at the party would think the guy was relatively harmless, like a benign tumor.

by Solid Mantis June 24, 2019

Pity Jerk

When a girl does something for a guy (or visa versa) because she feels bad for him.

Example 1

Jessica: I saw you with Mark last night, why were you with that loser??

Rebecca: I was giving him a pity jerk

Example 2

Jon: Why did you like Samantha's new pic, you know she's a huge loser right?

Matt: It was a pity jerk man.

by In your mom's DMs August 30, 2019

Beef Jerk

Giving a handjob to someone that you hate i.e have beef with.

Kyle's such a dick, but still i ending up wanking him off. I'll never beef jerk again..

by frogurban745 September 21, 2019

Hurt Jerk

When a girl makes you think you’re getting some ass. Then leaves you with blue balls. Then you gotta jerk off painfully.

Bruh, this girl made me think I was gettin’ some and left me with blue balls. I had to go home and do the hurt jerk.

by G-rock October 2, 2019