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masturbated

fucking yourself
i masturbated yesterday and I came so much
by cummer5000 May 22, 2023
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Audible Masturbation

Talking just to please yourself.
Twitter is a great place to see audible masturbation at work, Or a trump speech.
by Z_PW January 14, 2021
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To Masturbate

An attempt to pointlessly satisfy an irrational urge in the short term.

(where in the long term on further reflection you realise it to be truly unsatisfactory)
"Sometimes I try to masturbate a really long or difficult word into a sentence just to feel I'm smarter than I actually am!"
by anonymous January 14, 2021
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native masturbation

When you give an indian burn on your penis with hot sauce.
Hey Cesar, I', going to give myself a native masturbation.
by fuckyourdad101inthea$$ September 30, 2017
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Post-Masturbation paralysis

The moment that last 10-15 seconds after masturbation when you are immobile because you are questioning the existence of everything or you just beat your meat to hard
Bro last night I beat my meat and I couldn't move afterwards

That's just the Post-Masturbation paralysis, it's normal
by Assaddition November 17, 2019
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Masturbation

When ur lonely
Person one. “Damn i wish i had a partner
Person two. “ ur solution is masturbation
by Cohan the great... April 2, 2021
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whiteboard masturbation

A term sometimes used in certain software engineering circles to refer to the excessive use of things like object-oriented programming, specifically its principle of abstraction, to create highly abstract, polymorphic, incomprehensible and unnecessarily complex systems within software instead of keeping things simple.

This is usually practiced by "engineers" who value the "design" of software more than actually delivering value
to the software's users and/or believe that writing software is akin to designing a car or a building. Buildings, for example, cannot easily be torn down again if some part was constructed incorrectly or contains an error, whereas most software can.

While some may argue that it's prudent to keep one's code "clean" or "extendible" and whatnot, excessive abstraction can have the exact opposite effect: You get an unnecessarily complex mess that is extremely hard to untangle once you actually discover a use case which it didn't account for. The result is a "building" that cannot easily be rebuilt - said whiteboard masturbators will then argue, that "it should've just been designed better in the first place" and that the "model wasn't good enough" and will continue to draw UML diagrams that are of no use apart from impressing the sales department.
"Maybe we should use a visitor pattern to separate this strategy from the concrete adapter that is instantiated by our abstract factory so we can guarantee arbitrary observability throughout our proxied chain of responsibility."
"... listen, at this point it's just whiteboard masturbation. Just keep it simple and write a function."
by Aequitosh February 28, 2024
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