To open up a can of whoop ass on someone, decapitate them, then cut them into eight pieces of white and dark meat: two breasts, two wings (arms), two thighs, and two legs. The beating continues by coating the person's pieces with seven secret herbs and spices and frying them to an extra, extra crispy texture. The beating concludes by kicking the sizzling, stinking pieces into a six-month old bucket of chicken that's crawling with ants and sharing video of the beating on social media.
You fool, I'm gonna beat you into a bucket of chicken!
by IGKYA53 October 05, 2021
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beat you senseless

To beat some slime punk so that they ain't got no notion of what's going on and they are just left left laying there doing nothing!!!
Quit being stupid fool, or I'm gonna beat you senseless!!!
by IGKYA53 December 01, 2013
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Masturbate Theater

A TV show that losers watch to beat off to low-cut Victorian corsets and fade-out sex scenes on PBS Masterpiece, formerly known as Masterpiece Theater.
Derek: Are coming down to the bar Sunday night?

Alistair: Nah, I’m gonna lay back and unzip for Jane Austen on Masturbate Theater.
by IGKYA53 July 29, 2020
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To beat someone so bad that their ass becomes a jiggling mass of gel hanging off their spine, allowing you to rip it off and place it in their hands as they collapse into a heap of excruciating pain. After the beaten person finishes convulsing, you place their severed posterior next to their lips so that it looks like they are kissing their own ass while posting hilarious videos to social media.
You disrespect me and I'll rip off your ass and hand it to you!!!
by IGKYA53 October 02, 2020
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half dead

What you and yo mamma are gonna be after I open up a can of whoopass on ya!
You fool! I'm gonna whup you and yo mamma half dead!
by IGKYA53 December 09, 2024
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beat you broke

To beat someone so bad it causes the change in their pocket and the cash in their wallet to fall out, the loss of all their investments and belongings, and to continue pummeling the person to total financial ruin where they owe the total world debt, approximately $190 trillion.
Barney: “Look, I got a two dollar winner”.

Andy: “I’m gonna beat you broke and send you the bill!”
by IGKYA53 May 11, 2020
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To open up a can of whoop ass on someone and then, while sitting back with a nice bottle of wine, proceed to sadistically snap all 106 bones in their body, about one every 20 minutes or so, thereby inflicting nearly insufferable agony and forcing the person take their meals through a tube for the rest of their miserable, now useless life.
Ricky: Lucy, what’d you do, making out with Ethel?
Lucy: Oh Ricky, it was the only way Ethel could get her allowance from Fred!
Ricky: Ay caramba! I’m gonna break every bone in your body!
Lucy: Waugh!
by IGKYA53 July 02, 2020
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