To savagely beat someone beyond the mere confines of life and death, to a point where an inter-dimensional portal opens up and, in a blinding maelstrom hot as a supernova, sweeps the carcass of the beaten person up into the atmosphere, breaking all known laws of physics, and leaving no trace of the beaten person behind.
Sapphire: "Get down to the store, we need some groceries."
Kingfish: "Uh, I lost all my money at the racetrack."
Sapphire (grabbing a rolling pin): "I'm gonna beat you to oblivion!"
Kingfish: "Uh, I lost all my money at the racetrack."
Sapphire (grabbing a rolling pin): "I'm gonna beat you to oblivion!"
by IGKYA53 April 22, 2020
To open up a can of whup ass on someone and kick their ass so hard that their carcass gets carried across the ocean by the trade winds before landing with a sickening thud in the main town square in Timbuktu. The person spits open and the withers into a pulp as their pants fall down into a disgusting spew of their brains, snot, piss, and shit. The locals celebrate by uploading humiliating photos and videos of the person to social media followed by feeding their entrails to hyenas for good fortune.
by IGKYA53 March 08, 2021
To beat someone so bad it causes the change in their pocket and the cash in their wallet to fall out, the loss of all their investments and belongings, and to continue pummeling the person to total financial ruin where they owe the total world debt, approximately $190 trillion.
by IGKYA53 May 11, 2020
A TV show that losers watch to beat off to low-cut Victorian corsets and fade-out sex scenes on PBS Masterpiece, formerly known as Masterpiece Theater.
Derek: Are coming down to the bar Sunday night?
Alistair: Nah, I’m gonna lay back and unzip for Jane Austen on Masturbate Theater.
Alistair: Nah, I’m gonna lay back and unzip for Jane Austen on Masturbate Theater.
by IGKYA53 July 29, 2020
To open up a can of whoop ass on someone and then, while sitting back with a nice bottle of wine, proceed to sadistically snap all 106 bones in their body, about one every 20 minutes or so, thereby inflicting nearly insufferable agony and forcing the person take their meals through a tube for the rest of their miserable, now useless life.
Ricky: Lucy, what’d you do, making out with Ethel?
Lucy: Oh Ricky, it was the only way Ethel could get her allowance from Fred!
Ricky: Ay caramba! I’m gonna break every bone in your body!
Lucy: Waugh!
Lucy: Oh Ricky, it was the only way Ethel could get her allowance from Fred!
Ricky: Ay caramba! I’m gonna break every bone in your body!
Lucy: Waugh!
by IGKYA53 July 02, 2020
by IGKYA53 December 09, 2024
To open up a can of whoop ass on someone, decapitate them, then cut them into eight pieces of white and dark meat: two breasts, two wings (arms), two thighs, and two legs. The beating continues by coating the person's pieces with seven secret herbs and spices and frying them to an extra, extra crispy texture. The beating concludes by kicking the sizzling, stinking pieces into a six-month old bucket of chicken that's crawling with ants and sharing video of the beating on social media.
by IGKYA53 October 05, 2021