Tortoise

THE MOST BADASS ANIMAL ON THE PLANET. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS A LIVING TANK.

"Damn do you see that guy over there who owns a tortoise?"
"Fucking badass"

by LiverGiver February 11, 2021

Tortoise

Woman 60 years plus on the hunt for younger man.

She is a tortoise, her new boyfriend is 22 and she is 63

by crimson2435chin123 July 8, 2020

Whiskey Tortoise

Flaccid, impotent male genitals that result from consuming too much alcohol (esp. whiskey or bourbon).

"He got so drunk and later, in bed, he had a total whiskey tortoise. I lied and told him that it was fine and that all that mattered was being close to him."

by Tortoisemaster August 26, 2013

tortoise pigeons

the humorous name for the fake Yeezy Boost 350 Turtle Doves

- Damn, I got scammed for the yeezys
- Shit man, you got the tortoise pigeons

by ibelongwithmemes0000 April 28, 2017

Tortoiseitis

Slower than fuck. A very slow person.

It takes that bitch forever to put her makeup on she has tortoiseitis.

by Mike Hawksbigger January 31, 2023

tortoise tickler

When being anally fingered so deep that the finger reaches fecal matter.

We were in a gay tussle when he used the tortoise tickler, and then he had to stop to wash his hands.

by Myspeakingpseudonym July 4, 2015

stroke the tortoise

Refers to masturbating an uncircumcised penis.

Hey, I was with Kenneth last Friday and he asked his girlfriend if she wanted to stroke the tortoise; in front of everyone.

by deepthong November 22, 2022