When you eat out someone who doesn't have pubic hair yet - i.e. you got there before the hair (hare) did
Hey dude... After I left with that chick last night.. I was totally the Tortoise.. I got there before the hair !
by John Detlor March 20, 2009
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Rocks with heads and devilishly smart minds that will one day outsmart humans and superbots and destroy the world
My former pet tortoise just hacked into my computer and is training an army
by CallingAllTortoises March 20, 2019
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over consumption of alcoholic beverages to the point you fall asleep
There tortoised there gonna be calling in sick to work tomorrow
by Tortoised January 11, 2009
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An armored reptile, usually equipped with missile launchers which they hide under their shell. Highly underestimated, tortoises hide underground in small clumps, training for the day they unite and take over the world. They infiltrate human bases by appearing cute and posing as pets.

Not to be mistaken for turtles.
by I💗Hypixel May 18, 2016
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Noun (ancient Roman military term): a battle tactic in which a squad of soldiers close ranks into a tight square and link their shields over their heads and at their sides all around, creating a nearly impenetrable formation which can advance and engage enemy positions at close range without taking heavy casualties.
During the battle at the Moon Gate in Alexandria, Caesar ordered the deployment of the tortoise formation to neutralize the enemy ballistas.
by speedog July 27, 2010
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when one ejaculates on another's back and sticks a pillow to it.
"Forget getting Supermanned, that bitch got Tortoised!!"
by lpLPlp April 5, 2010
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An older man who likes to date younger women.
Old Marvin is a Tortoise who his new 20 year old girlfriend. Mmmmmhhhhmm
by djdannyd June 4, 2015
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