Newton, NJ

Is a small town located in Sussex County, NJ. Its hard to pin point exactly whats going on here. To a casual observe it looks to be a small rural town. On the main street that runs though the "downtown" area is fileld with crack heads, retards, freaks, disfigured perverts, whores, swamp people, saggy titted sluts, and child molesting perverts then any town in the state. The town is going through a perpetual state of closing stores and reopening them as even business. Recently the Newton Theater has re-opened and hailed as the coming of "culture". Little did the locals realize the theater would have washed up losers and no name locals playing on a weekly basis. The areas is void of all culture, good food, and interesting bars/cafes. If for some reason you end up in Newton, NJ your best bet is to be "cool" and go hang out at the local Applebee's where you an witness the lowest form of human scum packing sodium pumped 1/2 price grease specials into their faces. These people all keep the local cardiology and liver specialist busy-- making them filthy rich, so they can live else where (See: Sparta, NJ). Another interesting aspect to the beautiful town is the local Walmart which apparently is doubling as year around three ring circus. Take the whole family to this perpetual freak show and enjoy the notorious 700lb woman with front upper pussy that will blow your mind (See: FUPA).

Newton: the destination for your next family vacation!

Sparta, NJ, Sussex County, Newton, NJ

by Newton4Life October 13, 2011

necronovelist

An author who writes primarily about death and things relating to death and violence.
This author who has a largely morbid way of thinking and expressing through his/her works.

"Edgar Allen Poe is one of the most influential necronovelists of all time."

by Eric Baumann & Mollie Jaeger July 31, 2005

Fig Newtons

The pathetic substitute for real cookies like oreos or chips ahoy. Often bought by overprotective, health-conscious mothers.

-Hey little Johnny, do you want dessert?

-Ya mom! What's there to eat?

-Fig Newtons

-Fig Newtons? Fuck you, mom.

by Barnaby J. August 8, 2008

Newton

1. A metric unit of Force, formally written as (kilograms)(meters)/(seconds)

2. A 17th century scientist who pioneered Physics and Calculus.

3. A cookie that is, in reality, "fruit and cake"

1. " I must have applied at least 4*10^4 Newtons to that turd before it came out!"

2. "Isaac Newton is a big moron, Calculus is hard."

3. "Give me one of those figgy Newtons..... or is that figgy pudding?"

by Jordon December 10, 2003

West Newton

Toughest part of Newton By far. the lake thinks they are......but in reality, there not.

Those west newton kids came to our carnival again and stomped all of our regulars....shit!

by Dont act like you know me November 3, 2006

Newton, Iowa

A glorious little shit hole in Central Iowa, well known for not having anything to do, not having any place to work, and having lots of weed. If you live in Newton, Iowa, you are either addicted to drugs, too poor to move to a better place, or an old, retired person. Newton, Iowa offers a variety of activities for young people to do, such as smoke weed, drive around town for six hours with no destination (sometimes while smoking weed), go to the roller skating rink (if you're 12), smoke weed, attend one of the 50 churches, eat fast food, smoke weed, have unprotected sex with multiple partners (at once or separately), go bowling, or cook meth, just to name them all. Newton, Iowa also has a fairly new race track, so now everything is just FUCKING DANDY! You can't smoke a race track, so very few Newton teens enjoy it. Newton, Iowa is 30 miles away from everything. Avoid this town like the plague.

Welcome to Newton, Iowa. We hope you brought something to do.

Man 1: "Where are you from?"
Man 2: "Newton, Iowa."
Man 1: "Sucks to be you, man."
Man 2: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm so baked right now."

by hodgepodge April 23, 2012

necronanofelcher

1. one who fucks dead dwarves in the ass and then sucks the cum back out with a straw.
see also felcher

2. a bad human being

2. Sean ate my last tapioca pudding. That fucking necronanofelcher!

by alan smithy November 1, 2005