Jared

Jared is 2 feet tall and 6 feet wide, he is basically big chungus irl. Jared's greatest success in life is creating the thot blockers.

Girl 1:God Jared is thiccer than a snicker
Girl 2:nah I'd compare him to a bowl of oatmeal

by Peachybeb January 3, 2019

Jared

The best thing that's ever happened to me.

Even when I'm with my boo,
You know I'm crazy over Jared.

by YourRoame September 1, 2010

Jared

An extreme otaku. Proceed with caution when approaching a Jared, as he might infect you with his otaku ways

Person 1: Hey have you seen that Jared?
Person 2: Yeah he's a real otaku.
Jared: DID SOMEONE SAY ANIME?!?!?!?!
私は不潔なオタクです!!! あなたがこれを翻訳した場合、

by purpleParadoxius February 15, 2019

Jared

1. HAS A HUGE PENIS

2. GETS BITCHES TO FUCK HIM
3. RICH AS FUCK

4. KING RAGE

(Girl) "Look its Jared I wanna fuck him hard and call him daddy

by 410GangBanger April 12, 2017

Jared

A metrosexual with great taste for women.
Someone who people crave the feeling of his pork sword in their mouth.
A stubborn, family orientated individual who can manipulate to fit his own agenda with ease, and no remorse.
Someone who relishes in the darkness and finds great comfort in it.

Oh s***! We're dealing with a Jared.

My hero is a complete Jared, no doubt about it.

The only type of guys I'm interested in are Jared', the rest are a##holes.

*Sigh* Why can't there be more Jared'!

by Dr J Edwards October 21, 2014

Jared

He’s Jared, 19.
And he’s never fucking learned how to read.

Person 1: “Who is that dumbass?”
Person 2: “That’s Jared, 19.”

by shishtarshnapped October 9, 2018

Jared

Sexy love; Hottie, I Love him SSOOO much.

I Love You Jared Lemoine, you are the most amazing person ive ever met.

by Towee December 14, 2008