Crumpet Mayhem

A joyous occasion when six or more crumpets are prepared per person. Preferably buttered, hot and crispy (maybe with a little grilled sugar). This is usually the result of somebody suggesting Crumpet Mayhem (usually due to an over-abundance of crumpets due to them being on special offer). The crumpets are consumed by all and enjoyed, as crumpets are loved by all.

"I'm hungry, anybody got any ideas for a good munchies?"...

..."What about Crumpet Mayhem! We got loads of crumpets and butter because they were half price, we could even sprinkle sugar on top?"...

..."Sounds great, let's get the grill on!"

by MikeSynonymous February 11, 2010

Blended crumpet

A handsome man

He was very blended crumpet

by Blended September 1, 2020

Crumpet bashing

Sex with a pastry twist

Let's do some crumpet bashing tonight

by RichardNixonisBae March 4, 2016

Rusty Crumpet

Descriptive term for female genitalia that displays the signs of a severe herpes outbreak.

that chick was smokin hot, luckily i got a glimpse of her rusty crumpet and bolted

by Miniskip January 24, 2013

Satay Crumpet

Wiping your arse on the bath mat.

We ran outta bog roll so I had to make a satay crumpet

by Rusty ranga August 7, 2019

Dusty crumpet

A dusty little fucker who has problems like a box of old ass crumpets

Your such a dusty crumpet

by Pew.pew.pew.alpaca May 30, 2016

Crumpet Teeth

When someones teeth has unusual staining on them. Staining similar to the color of a crumpet or english muffin such as: off white, yellow, orange, brown or even hints of black.

He was totally cute until he smiled, it was a serious crumpet teeth situation. Brown with hints of yellow, it reminded me of a toasted english muffin. Gross!

by No Internal Monologue August 23, 2010