Scuba Diving

Spending an excessive amount of time in the bathroom/loo/privy, especially when others need to use it. Scuba Diving can interfere with other peoples' busy schedules, as there is much time wasted. Whilst sometimes a person may spend a long time on the toilet due to legitimate natural reasons, roughly 80-90% of Scuba Diving is caused by reading newspapers, making phone calls, or playing around with electronics devices. Scuba Diving can be done by both men and women, but under different circumstances: for instance, women naturally spend absurd amounts of time in the bathroom usually messing around in the mirror as is, whilst men can spend about 30 minutes on the can playing Angry Birds or something.

The term comes from the idea that the reason why the person is in the bathroom so long is because they're literally swimming around in the toilet water rather than doing their intended business.

Ted: For Christ's sake, man, Billy's been in there for like 45 minutes! I have to take a piss really bad!
George: I know, me too -- what the hell is he doing, Scuba Diving in there!?

Roger: Damn it, I got to shit really bad, but there's only one available stall in our building's men's room, and some damn old guy's been in there for ages with his newspaper. God damn it, I hate Scuba Diving!

Jason: Dude, we've been waiting for a fucking long time to go and pick up our pizza. What the hell were you doing in there, Scuba Diving?
Tom: Nah brah, I got the Farmville app!

Scuba Diving by Bo Andysin February 10, 2014

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scuba bitch

A rather large female specimen that wears clothing that is "slightly" too small for them.

"Wow dude you see that scuba bitch over there?"

"Yeah man what a f'in seal"

scuba bitch by Macky T December 8, 2006

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Related Words

Scuba Steve • scuba • scuba diving • Scuba Dive • scuba diver • scuba keith • Scuba Suit • scuba cat • scuba donkey • Scuba 69

Scuba Phone

A mobile phone conversation where it sounds like the person calling you is speaking to you while under water. This can be caused by several factors:

1. The caller has a crappy phone.

2. Their carrier compresses the signal so it is the same quality as an 8 k/bit MP3.

3. The person calling you has fallen off a cruise ship and is phoning for help as they are drowning.

4. You are being called by a ventriloquist who is practising his stage routine with a glass of water.

Either way, it's really annoying and you will only get about 1 word in three of what they are saying. Afterwards, when they see you next, it will all be YOUR fault as you weren't listening!

Husband: Oh my God, look at the place! I told you to clean the front room as I was bringing the Boss back for dinner!

Wife: No, what you said was "Blurbledearblurble, blurble crackle blurble Dinner." How many times have I told you to call me on the land line and not use that sodding scuba phone!?

Scuba Phone by Tea Monster September 11, 2013