Crumpet Mayhem

A joyous occasion when six or more crumpets are prepared per person. Preferably buttered, hot and crispy (maybe with a little grilled sugar). This is usually the result of somebody suggesting Crumpet Mayhem (usually due to an over-abundance of crumpets due to them being on special offer). The crumpets are consumed by all and enjoyed, as crumpets are loved by all.

"I'm hungry, anybody got any ideas for a good munchies?"...

..."What about Crumpet Mayhem! We got loads of crumpets and butter because they were half price, we could even sprinkle sugar on top?"...

..."Sounds great, let's get the grill on!"

by MikeSynonymous February 11, 2010

Blended crumpet

A handsome man

He was very blended crumpet

by Blended September 1, 2020

Satay Crumpet

Wiping your arse on the bath mat.

We ran outta bog roll so I had to make a satay crumpet

by Rusty ranga August 7, 2019

Crumpet Cruncher

A racist term against the English.

Sir Guy Mann: "Damn crumpet crunchers drinkin all my tea again"

by The Insult Man April 29, 2021

Crumpet bashing

Sex with a pastry twist

Let's do some crumpet bashing tonight

by RichardNixonisBae March 4, 2016

Dusty crumpet

A dusty little fucker who has problems like a box of old ass crumpets

Your such a dusty crumpet

by Pew.pew.pew.alpaca May 30, 2016

Rusty Crumpet

Descriptive term for female genitalia that displays the signs of a severe herpes outbreak.

that chick was smokin hot, luckily i got a glimpse of her rusty crumpet and bolted

by Miniskip January 24, 2013