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Social Masturbator

A person providing social commentary aimed at enforcing said person's superior knowledge and ethos of current moral / values and that which is politically correct. Social mastrubators are often failed / undiscovered political journalists and band together on social media where the opportunity to point out where a politically incorrect view is raised.
That tweet brought out social masturbators in full force.
by AJ Nel January 20, 2016
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masturbated

fucking yourself
i masturbated yesterday and I came so much
by cummer5000 May 22, 2023
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Audible Masturbation

Talking just to please yourself.
Twitter is a great place to see audible masturbation at work, Or a trump speech.
by Z_PW January 14, 2021
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To Masturbate

An attempt to pointlessly satisfy an irrational urge in the short term.

(where in the long term on further reflection you realise it to be truly unsatisfactory)
"Sometimes I try to masturbate a really long or difficult word into a sentence just to feel I'm smarter than I actually am!"
by anonymous January 14, 2021
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Multi-Masturbation March

A proposed internet challenge which takes place in the month of March. On the 1st, participants would wank one time, and on the 2nd, they would wank two times, multiplying the times they wanked the day before by two. They would go so on, until they wank over 1.07 billion times on March 31st.
A: "Man, my arm is so tired after Destroy Dick December..."
B: "Thought that was hard? Better get ready for Multi-Masturbation March."
by potatoman- August 31, 2025
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Masturbating

Something you do when you need a quick fix because the real thing isn't available.
Jerry: Hey what are you up to?
Frank: I'm masturbating.
Jerry: Ok hit me up when your done.
by Jiggywithit455 June 12, 2022
mugGet the Masturbatingmug.

Third person masturbating

To pleasure oneself in a mirror to a picture of oneself.
I walked into the bathroom to see Chad watching himself in the mirror jerking off to a picture of himself.. he was third person masturbating
by Professional ego striker January 4, 2025
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