Masturbating

what you do when you see your Grandpa.

Grandpa: *leaves room*

You: *Starts jerking off and Masturbating*

by The master of masturbating November 16, 2020

Masturbate Theater

A TV show that losers watch to beat off to low-cut Victorian corsets and fade-out sex scenes on PBS Masterpiece, formerly known as Masterpiece Theater.

Derek: Are coming down to the bar Sunday night?

Alistair: Nah, I’m gonna lay back and unzip for Jane Austen on Masturbate Theater.

by IGKYA53 July 29, 2020

native masturbation

When you give an indian burn on your penis with hot sauce.

Hey Cesar, I', going to give myself a native masturbation.

by fuckyourdad101inthea$$ September 30, 2017

pet masturbation

When you proceed to jack your pet off and eventually use your mouth until they ejaculate

Mike attempted to perform pet masturbation but did it to hard and got bit

by trevelhasasmalldick March 20, 2017

Scottish masturbating

A combination of having an orgasm, taking a shit and puking at the same time.

''Dude, after masturbating on a Scottish way it takes a huge amount of time to clean it up.''
- ''Yeah man, that's the disadvantage of Scottish masturbating!''

by idgafosoae April 12, 2017

joke masturbation

The act of laughing at or enjoying your own jokes to such an extent to which it may be seen to cause you arousal.

Steve: Don't you find it weird how Dave always laughs at his own jokes? They aren't even funny...

James: Yeah, he's really into joke masturbation.

by MegaP143 May 29, 2017

blindfold masturbation

A situation in which people put on blindfolds and masturbate people they cannot see.

The teacher lead a blindfold masturbation session with his students.

by 66991234 December 3, 2017