A term sometimes used in certain software engineering circles to refer to the excessive use of things like object-oriented programming, specifically its principle of abstraction, to create highly abstract, polymorphic, incomprehensible and unnecessarily complex systems within software instead of keeping things simple.
This is usually practiced by "engineers" who value the "design" of software more than actually delivering value
to the software's users and/or believe that writing software is akin to designing a car or a building. Buildings, for example, cannot easily be torn down again if some part was constructed incorrectly or contains an error, whereas most software can.
While some may argue that it's prudent to keep one's code "clean" or "extendible" and whatnot, excessive abstraction can have the exact opposite effect: You get an unnecessarily complex mess that is extremely hard to untangle once you actually discover a use case which it didn't account for. The result is a "building" that cannot easily be rebuilt - said whiteboard masturbators will then argue, that "it should've just been designed better in the first place" and that the "model wasn't good enough" and will continue to draw UML diagrams that are of no use apart from impressing the sales department.
This is usually practiced by "engineers" who value the "design" of software more than actually delivering value
to the software's users and/or believe that writing software is akin to designing a car or a building. Buildings, for example, cannot easily be torn down again if some part was constructed incorrectly or contains an error, whereas most software can.
While some may argue that it's prudent to keep one's code "clean" or "extendible" and whatnot, excessive abstraction can have the exact opposite effect: You get an unnecessarily complex mess that is extremely hard to untangle once you actually discover a use case which it didn't account for. The result is a "building" that cannot easily be rebuilt - said whiteboard masturbators will then argue, that "it should've just been designed better in the first place" and that the "model wasn't good enough" and will continue to draw UML diagrams that are of no use apart from impressing the sales department.
"Maybe we should use a visitor pattern to separate this strategy from the concrete adapter that is instantiated by our abstract factory so we can guarantee arbitrary observability throughout our proxied chain of responsibility."
"... listen, at this point it's just whiteboard masturbation. Just keep it simple and write a function."
"... listen, at this point it's just whiteboard masturbation. Just keep it simple and write a function."
by Aequitosh February 28, 2024

A person providing social commentary aimed at enforcing said person's superior knowledge and ethos of current moral / values and that which is politically correct. Social mastrubators are often failed / undiscovered political journalists and band together on social media where the opportunity to point out where a politically incorrect view is raised.
by AJ Nel January 20, 2016

by HernandezToRodriguezScapeGoat April 6, 2025

by The master of masturbating November 16, 2020

When you are a socially inep involuntarily celibate due to poor dating and social skills, and sees porn every day and leaving cum stains everywhere in your house nonstop, as a way to cope with loneliness. Never goes out, doesn't exercise nor does improve social skills, and yet this special type of breeds can usually be found moderating around Discord, Tumblr, and Reddit as power-hungry mods or working remotely in a part-time job as a twitter moderator.
Jerry never finds a way to prevent chronic masturbation. He clearly didn't recover after getting rejected by Stacy for not being himself a Chad, as he believes.
by TheKamikazeMonkeys February 27, 2023

I walked into the bathroom to see Chad watching himself in the mirror jerking off to a picture of himself.. he was third person masturbating
by Professional ego striker January 4, 2025

A proposed internet challenge which takes place in the month of March. On the 1st, participants would wank one time, and on the 2nd, they would wank two times, multiplying the times they wanked the day before by two. They would go so on, until they wank over 1.07 billion times on March 31st.
A: "Man, my arm is so tired after Destroy Dick December..."
B: "Thought that was hard? Better get ready for Multi-Masturbation March."
B: "Thought that was hard? Better get ready for Multi-Masturbation March."
by potatoman- August 31, 2025
