grandpa's an asshole

When you fucked grandpa did he tell you that he loved you
Did he hold you till the sun did rise
and did he look into your eyes
and ask you to felate him
and stick a finger or two in his ass

He seems like a total asshole
Grandpa is a total fucking asshole
Who would ever want a dirty greasy finger in his ass
he rubs his dick in broken glass

when you fucked grandpa did he kiss you soft and tender
did he tie your hands behind your head
and was it on your mother's bed

and this is stupid man! I can't believe you'd have sex with your own grandfather. I mean you guys are related! Whats he gonna do, take out his false teeth and just leave them on the side of your bed? Man, he likes to fuck you up the bottom, and grandma would come in and watch, and masturbate, and cum all over the place, and this is stupid! I hate you all! I'm not even gonna have sex with my mom tonight! Man, this is stupid! I hate you!

by Lizzy March 19, 2005

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asshole crumbs

Sporadic, weak or low-investment gestures of interest from a suiter or would-be partnerm that obscures the fact that the suiter or would be partner is not actually invested in the relationship. Often employed to keep the relationship just barely going in a way that does not heavily burden the person delivering the asshole crumbs but keeps his or her options perennially open.

After we had sex the first time she said she is scared that she is falling in love with me, but since then all I've gotten is a text now and then and some other asshole crumbs. OR : Narcissists are very good at sprikling some asshole crumbs in front of you just as you're about to completely write them off.

by Bill from Boston April 11, 2017

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Adele’s Asshole

A colloquial term used mainly by atheists in religious debate forum as a Hail Mary attempt at answering how the Big Bang came from nothing.

“Mr. Harris I need you to explain specifically and mechanistically how every galaxy and object in our universe came from an infinitesimally small singularity 13.8 billion years ago.” ——— “Adele’s Asshole” —— *Uprourious Godless Applause*

by Dumpster Choir February 10, 2021

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molten asshole

Where you take the massive, most painful shit, that is at least the temperature of the sun.

Even after you finish shitting it still feels like your ass turned into a volcano.

*Jake*: Dude did you ever get molten asshole?
*Andy*: Yeah dude that shit burns

*Jake*: I try to get toilet bowl water in there to cool it down
*Andy*: lolwut

by AndyJSwag March 20, 2014

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Mitchell’s Asshole

A dare a very young man did in the name of RAMEZ MOSAD! He put his hands over his cheeks and spreaded away

“Dude did you see the picture of Mitchell’s Asshole?”

by Marlbanda October 27, 2018

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asshole shirt

A man's dress shirt that has a color or pattern, except on the collar and cuffs, which are white. Asshole shirts are frequently set off with gold cufflinks or a tie clip. So called because the great majority of men who wear them are assholes.

I don't trust that politician/commentator/etc. because he often wears an asshole shirt on camera.
Look out! The boss is wearing an asshole shirt today.

by Trenko May 10, 2017

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