Jeff: What are you doing in there Steve?
Steve: Um...masturbating
Jeff: Steve NO! Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten. Think of the kittens!
Steve: Um...masturbating
Jeff: Steve NO! Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten. Think of the kittens!
by 89diehl September 26, 2010
Get the Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten. mug.by anonymous July 19, 2022
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i heard my parents car finally leave the drive, running to the draw filled with dildos and lube. i ripped off my clothes until all that was left was my thong. i gently started to rub my pussy, feeling instant relief and wanting more. i ripped off my panties, enjoying it even more raw. the more i rubbed, the more vigorous i got. it was throbbing now, begging for those fingers to slide right in. i moaned at the thought of it, inserting my middle finger into my clit, pounding it in and out. but 1 wasnt enough, my index finger slid in along with my middle finger going as deep as i could. cum building up, rubbing and fingering myself even harder to the point my legs were shaking. the adrenaline was insane, building up until i moaned so loud my throat hurt. i couldnt stop moaning, it just felt so good. i needed more, i craved more. i slammed my draw open and pulled out my dildo. i placed it facing upwards on my floor and yanked my fingers out of my pussy. i started to bounce on it, turning into aggressively riding it and pumping it into my body. god it felt so good. my pussy was dripping wet. i could feel the cum about to leave my body, clenching to not finger myself even more. this lasted a few seconds before it squirted out of me, launching across the room and landing on my door, dripping down. the moan that came out of me was the best one yet. i couldn't help but rub my pussy even more until my brother came in my room. not realising he was home, he said
i heard my parents car finally leave the drive, running to the draw filled with dildos and lube. i ripped off my clothes until all that was left was my thong. i gently started to rub my pussy, feeling instant relief and wanting more. i ripped off my panties, enjoying it even more raw. the more i rubbed, the more vigorous i got. it was throbbing now, begging for those fingers to slide right in. i moaned at the thought of it, inserting my middle finger into my clit, pounding it in and out. but 1 wasnt enough, my index finger slid in along with my middle finger going as deep as i could. cum building up, rubbing and fingering myself even harder to the point my legs were shaking. the adrenaline was insane, building up until i moaned so loud my throat hurt. i couldnt stop moaning, it just felt so good. i needed more, i craved more. i slammed my draw open and pulled out my dildo. i placed it facing upwards on my floor and yanked my fingers out of my pussy. i started to bounce on it, turning into aggressively riding it and pumping it into my body. god it felt so good. my pussy was dripping wet. i could feel the cum about to leave my body, clenching to not finger myself even more. this lasted a few seconds before it squirted out of me, launching across the room and landing on my door, dripping down. the moan that came out of me was the best one yet. i couldn't help but rub my pussy even more until my brother came in my room. not realising he was home, he said
by sw@ggyp0tat0es February 22, 2024
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1. Someone who masturbates to themselves
2. Someone who masturbates to porn they drew themselves
1. Someone who masturbates to themselves
2. Someone who masturbates to porn they drew themselves
by Sp33D King December 24, 2025
Get the Self-masturbator mug.The act of laughing at or enjoying your own jokes to such an extent to which it may be seen to cause you arousal.
Steve: Don't you find it weird how Dave always laughs at his own jokes? They aren't even funny...
James: Yeah, he's really into joke masturbation.
James: Yeah, he's really into joke masturbation.
by MegaP143 May 29, 2017
Get the joke masturbation mug.Rob was looking for some safety scissors and accidentally became the masturbe to Phil's trip to pound town.
by Jordanmlat April 6, 2021
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