When I masturbate I think of you

What normal, rational girls don't want to hear.

After band class, some random kid told me "When I masturbate I think of you."

by Jinx (Name already Used) December 27, 2010

Masturbation will make you go blind

Blindness caused from masturbation as a result of ejaculating into oneselfs eyeballs.

Grandma said masturbation will make you go blind

by Yourwrongangel November 3, 2020

Obsessive-Masturbation Syndrome is Real October

When you want to nut in November so you do this.

Fuck No Nut November! Obsessive-Masturbation Syndrome is Real October it is!

by LazuliStar June 7, 2020

Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten.

Not only does it make you go blind and grow hair on your palms, but it also kills kittens!

Jeff: What are you doing in there Steve?
Steve: Um...masturbating
Jeff: Steve NO! Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten. Think of the kittens!

by 89diehl September 26, 2010

masturbate

something most people do, and- oh, i see you're doing it right now, horny bastard. I'll wait.

something most people do, but not a lot freely admit it. the act of sexual self-stimulation because you cant get any bitches. touch grass.

i just masturbated to this sexy definition

by Kennu Silvadhd November 27, 2023

Scottish masturbating

A combination of having an orgasm, taking a shit and puking at the same time.

''Dude, after masturbating on a Scottish way it takes a huge amount of time to clean it up.''
- ''Yeah man, that's the disadvantage of Scottish masturbating!''

by idgafosoae April 12, 2017

Masturbate

Something you do with your friends.

Jimmy just came out of swimming classes and went to go shower. You see, theres 28 students and only 20 showers, and the showers don't have walls between them, so you have to shower with other people. This is only a boy's swimming class. Jimmy looked at other people's cocks and got hard. His coach said, "Come with me, I have a special shower for you since it's crowded." He followed. Suddenly, his coach started fucking him so hard he cummed all over. His friend came in and the coach left, Jimmy and his friend masturbated together.

by 10inchMONSTERcock October 27, 2022