jesus on a fucking boat 

A cringy ass “catchphrase” that doesn’t even make sense. You probably made it up to be quirky or have a special catchphrase nobody else has except it backfired and now you sound like a dumbass

Weird kid: Jesus on a fucking boat!!
Everyone else: Wtf did he just say…

jesus on a fucking boat by icecoldtoes July 25, 2022

Jesus Shit 

When you take a shit that is wet enough that it easily slides out your ass but hard enough that it leaves no residue, so the person doesn't have to wipe their ass.

"Jesus shits are hard to get" said James.

Jesus Shit by me1342 July 11, 2006

Jesus Jim Caviezel on a Cross 

Used in replacement, and carries the same meaning as the commonly spoken phrase "Jesus Christ on a Cross". This is in reference to the guy who played Jesus in "The Passion of the Christ".

"Jesus Jim Caviezel on a Cross, this carrot cake has semen in it!"

Jesus Jim Caviezel on a Cross by Jolly Judd January 29, 2009

Jesus Christ on a cracker 

A notably more potent form of the exclamation"Jesus Christ!". Used to show extreme cases of shock, disgust, or awe.

John: Yo, I just hit your little sister with my car!
Bill: Jesus Christ on a cracker! Is the car ok?

Jesus Christ on a cracker by TGBen December 30, 2008

jesus phone

slang term used for an iPhone

My $600 jesus phone fell out of my pocket.

jesus phone by Junpei August 3, 2007

Jesus Ham 

The saviour of low-budget, processed meat. Coming soon to a supermarket near you!

Jesus Ham: It's Christ-tastic!

Jesus Ham by Biddy March 12, 2005

Jesus Piss

A term that has no meaning, but is used commonly in a state of anger and frustration. Also has nothing to with Religious beliefs.

"Jesus Piss! Where did that guy come from?"

Jesus Piss by The Occational Flame. May 15, 2010