Jesus pimps

Jehova's witnesses.

The Jesus pimps stopped at my door again yesterday.

by Alan May 9, 2004

Purple Jesus

4. Nickname for rookie running back Adrian Peterson of the Minnesota Vikings.

The Vikings beat the Falcons thanks to a 60 yard pass reception and run by Purple Jesus.

by mphilg September 26, 2007

jesus bomb

The kind of bomb that Attack Mode Jesus would plant

that Jesus Bomb just won the map

by amj August 21, 2006

"Jesus wept."

John 11:35. The shortest verse in the King James version of the Bible. Translated from the original Greek, εδακρυσεν ο ιησους, literally meaning, "Jesus wept.". Perhaps the sole verse in the Bible that people actually "get" without guidance. Rarely open to interpretation, only cross-reference. Having said that, what many don't understand is that it may sum up the entire New Testament in two simple words. (Note: emphasis on the word, may.)

When someone starts to say what the Gospel according to John really meant when it said, "Jesus wept.", just walk away! It could be a money scam. Caveat emptor.

by Herr Doktor Grauwolf February 14, 2009

all Jesus

1. All Jesus is a term referring to the positivity of a situation, despite a negative outlook.

Man 1:" Hey, looks like your tires went flat."
Man 2:" It's All Jesus though. Now I have an excuse to miss work."

by JoJaun Hunter June 16, 2006

Jesus Talk

A term to describe gossip.

"So much shit went down this weekend! I have soo much Jesus Talk!!"

by slothman81690 March 13, 2008

Jaundiced Jesus

1) Non-elected leader of a small group of sluttish "disciples", sharing a mutual love of orange-hued foundation, tight white miniskirts, hair wrecked by straightener over-use/discoloured hair extensions, and the obligatory bag of chips. Ususally seen shouting abuse at goths and mettlas in Staines high street/ old ladies in Romford.

2)Non-elected leader of a small group of sluttish "disciples", sharing a mutual love of orange-hued foundation, tight white miniskirts, hair wrecked by straightener over-use/discoloured hair extensions, but also hailing from a home counties convent school and sporting a public school boyfriend. Distinguished from (1) primarily in the amount of money they spend on looking cheap.

1- ran into that jaundiced jesus and her crew bottling some girl outside Staines KFC. The heady scent of Charlie bodyspray and second hand fag smoke was quite overwhelming.

2 - I hear jaundiced jesus is getting one of her manwhores to take her to ibiza on his yacht. I wonder what cup size she'll come back as?

by Social commentator extraodinaire November 11, 2006