A deformed hand, caused by a near endless amount of masturbation. All that wanking causes the subjects hand to shape into a claw-like entity that forms perfectly around penis shaped objects.
John: Eh Wayne, you holdin' an invisible water bottle?
Wayne: Nay John, thats my wanking claw.
John: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Thats knarly gross!
Wayne: Aye, I was up till 8 this morning tryin to pitch one off.
John: Yikes.... well from the looks of that claw you've got one awful small wee-wee.
Wayne: (sighs)Aye... well I'm off to the loo.
John: To do what?
Wayne: (holding claw) What do you think?
Wayne: Nay John, thats my wanking claw.
John: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Thats knarly gross!
Wayne: Aye, I was up till 8 this morning tryin to pitch one off.
John: Yikes.... well from the looks of that claw you've got one awful small wee-wee.
Wayne: (sighs)Aye... well I'm off to the loo.
John: To do what?
Wayne: (holding claw) What do you think?
by Martyn with a 'y' bitches May 8, 2008
Get the Wanking Clawmug. "Tonight on Question Time we have big-mouthed fuckwit Janet Street-Porter, grinning geek Professor Steven Hawking and Tony Blair's wank catcher, Peter Mandleson."
by Bob Sometimes September 4, 2004
Get the wank catchermug. 1)To weep whilst engaging in self abuse.
2)To masturbate with a lonely tear in your eye whilst listening to your mate ridin' some bird upstairs
2)To masturbate with a lonely tear in your eye whilst listening to your mate ridin' some bird upstairs
"I got dumped last night.. I felt so shitty that I went home in the rain and had a crying wank on the way..."
"Chapín is a crying wank legend!"
"Chapín is a crying wank legend!"
by Ray Mitchell May 26, 2006
Get the Crying Wankmug. A Scat Wank involves the "wanker" convering their penis and testicles(maybe even whole body if desired) in faeces. Then they should "rub one out" so to speak with ones fallus covered in excrement.
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Male 1: "Yo dude, have you heard of this new craze which has hit America?"
Male 2: *Shocked expression* "Wow what is that?"
Male 1: "It's called scat wanking."
Voice over: "Scat wanking is avalable for anyone wherever they are...but if you go to an organised party forget Bring Your Own Beer the new phrase is 'Bring Your Own Shit'"
Small Print- * We (The Government) do not hold responsibility for Aids contracted in the pool, from shit dick or from a scat wank.
Male 1: "Yo dude, have you heard of this new craze which has hit America?"
Male 2: *Shocked expression* "Wow what is that?"
Male 1: "It's called scat wanking."
Voice over: "Scat wanking is avalable for anyone wherever they are...but if you go to an organised party forget Bring Your Own Beer the new phrase is 'Bring Your Own Shit'"
Small Print- * We (The Government) do not hold responsibility for Aids contracted in the pool, from shit dick or from a scat wank.
by Spongy_Liver November 25, 2007
Get the Scat Wankmug. by mama lover April 13, 2005
Get the shit wankmug. Another term for anal sex. Mostly used by religious people, who believe in no sex before marriage - but feel the urge to have sexual intercourse.
by Kostadino October 16, 2008
Get the Ass Wankmug. A delectable art of multitasking - that involves a male masturbating while seated on a toilet as he simultaneously does a poo.
by Electric Toothbrush May 2, 2008
Get the Cowboy Wankmug.