Jesus Shield

People who proselytize and wave Jesus' name around when they are directly or indirectly accused of unethical or otherwise morally hazardous behavior.
Wow - what's up with Ted! All I called out was that I thought his cheating on his wife was not cool and he pulled out his Jesus Shield!
by RoSatanSF October 16, 2013
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Twink Jesus

Twink Jesus aka another word for Troye Sivan.
Person 1:"Hey do you know twink Jesus?"
Person 2: "Hell yea! I love Troye Sivan
by Troyesleftnutt June 16, 2018
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Comin of Jesus

When you’re in trouble with your boss and having a coaching session with them.
Terry was always late for work so the boss gave him a Comin of Jesus meeting
by Dnurse15 July 10, 2021
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Tombstone Jesus

Tombstone Jesus is an american professional wrestler. A Legend in his own mind. Unfortunately his mind is that of an old fart with dementia. He claims to be the leader of the tombiverse,age in bad ass years and have ak-47 blood type. Even in the wrestling world that is clearly the ramblings of someone with clear brain damage. Usually seen wandering the desert with his equally moronic son Otto von Clutch. The to constantly post the adventures of dumb and dumber. Adventures nobody wants to watch but much like a train wreck they can't help but look. The Worst wrestling match in history is the match between tombstone Jesus and the American giant Buck brezner. As a result of that match to this day having a bad performance is known as pulling a Tombstone. The only thing that may be worse than his wrestling could possibly be his music.
Bro you are in the Maine tonight. Please for the love of everything holy please don't pull a Tombstone Jesus
by Dcw fan November 16, 2022
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Jesus complex

Someone who will bend over backwards to try and help, good natured, But often messes their own life fixing yours.
"His Jesus complex got him fired, because he pulled over to help change a tire on a delivery"

"He rented a room to help a friend and they burned his house down, guess his Jesus complex got the best of him again."
by SpeedosStretch September 14, 2019
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Jesus Boner

When your mans boner is so long that it is considered holy.
by Cuntmuffin995 September 05, 2019
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jesus water

When you wake in the middle of the night really needing a glass of water and there's just a bottle right in your reach. It's like a whole other drink because it's just there if you need it
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