raped by jesus

when jesus comes down with spider people and rapes your grandma in the ass true fact if you commit too satan prepare the aking

i felt jesus in my ass i think i was raped by jesus

by dic kin ya momma bith April 20, 2017

jesus water

When you wake in the middle of the night really needing a glass of water and there's just a bottle right in your reach. It's like a whole other drink because it's just there if you need it

I've just had the most amazing glass of Jesus Water

by Made up words that make sense March 8, 2017

Jesus holiday

The practice of a worker taking two days off from work ill before miraculously returning on the third day ie on the third day he rose again

Jarod was off ill on Monday and Tuesday, returning Wednesday before needing a sick note from the doctor. Must of been a Jesus holiday

by 10cc July 1, 2016

Jesus Cherry

For those that don’t want to use the lords name.

“You’ll never guess what I’ve done...”

“Jesus Cherry! Go on! Tell me.”

by NAR93 February 14, 2018

Jesus's bitch

A woman who freely gives men blow jobs and then in her shame and guilt, yells it out in public places to justify her crazy basic bitch behavior.

Jesus's bitch almost got me caught up with my wife last night at the bar.

by I'm not your wife January 17, 2017

jesus slippers

flip flops or berkenstocks

you cant wear jesus slippers working in the forest

by bandana darren February 3, 2020

Jesus Crackers

Communion bread. Only funnier and truer. Best used in the context of satirizing Christianity and in humoring the physical appearance of the bread.

Friend: "I went to church today"
Friend 2: "Ouu what'd you do?"
Friend: "We heard a homily and prayed and received communion!"
Friend 2: "yOu mEan yOu aTe jEsuS cRackErs"

by the Dan Dan that Can Can April 13, 2020