Mattress humper

Someone that spends more time masturbating than having a life.

"im not talking to some fucking mattress humper"

by H0nyoka December 8, 2024

mattress

A sleep rectangle that marketers made complicated.

“Alex’s laptop melted after loading his 59th mattress comparison tab”

“Matt spent 43,981 hours browsing mattress reviews, triggering an intervention and a Boring Mattress.”

by boringmattress December 18, 2024

Mattress baguette

that large wide thick juicy dense baguette thats been sitting out all day and might be a little hard to cut

You're as thick as a mattress baguette.

by maezvi March 1, 2025

Mattress Baguette

A derogatory insult describing a person akin to that little piece of bread wedged between your mattress and wall which has been giving you cockroaches and other critters.

You cheated on me, you're a mattress baguette.

by Pumpkinzz March 2, 2025

Matter Of Fact Of Matter

Matter Of Fact Of Matter

Matter Of Fact Of Matter

by TheSpartanicaOfAnyHellstromu3e April 24, 2025

Matteus Henry

He’s a good boy. Matteus is the cutest, most romantic, cutie. The best boy you’ll ever meet.

Matteus Henry is a good boy.

by mcarva February 7, 2026

Mattress huffer

AKA pillow biter. A homosexual male.

"Ayo, did you hear Jeremy came out the closet? Lowkey mattress huffer."

by Illadelphg2 July 3, 2025