A retelling of the previous
definition of cute
hag, since it was vague at best.
Cute hags are pubescent females whom possesses
child-
like features, seemingly tailor-
made for pedophiles. These are rare, gifted specimen
outside the moe anime
world.
So,whatdoesittaketoqualifyasacutehag?Here'sthelist:
🌸Face🌸 ~
Crucialfeature,hagscan'tbecutewithoutthis!Havinganeotenousfaceiseverything.Hugeeyesareideal,Lipsmustbekeptatthebareminimum,alongwithnoredlipstick(makeslipslookbigevenifthey'resmallplusitjustlooksugly.transparantistheonlyvalidlipstick),nosemustbetiny(preferablelythesoutheastasianose)andchinmustbepointy.
🌸Hair🌸~Agoodhairstyleisamust,mohawksforexampledonotmeshwellwithcutehags.Tomboyhagsarenot welcome here.
🌸
Race🌸~Usuallyonlyasainsmeetthethresholdtobecomeacutehag,therearesomeexceptionsthough.
🌸Body
type🌸~ Veryimportant,thoughprettyflexible.Timido(fromhi3rd),Yuna(fromgransaga)andHanekawa(frommonogatari)aretheperfectexamplesofsemi-fathagsbeingextremelycute,butgenerallyspeaking,thin(beingcurvyisfineaslongasit'snottoomuchmeattherejustlikewestoidmenlike),
small-chestedhagsaremostdesired.Asforheight,it'sirrelevantforthemostpartonceyou'reahag.TallhagssuchasKianaKaslana(from hi3rd),ReiAyanami(from evangelion)andAsukaLangleySoryu(from evangelion)areontopofthehagchain.
🌸Voice🌸~Anythingthatisn'tatypicalhagvoiceiswelcome,butachild-likevoiceismostlyprefered.
🎉Ifyoucheckallthemarksonthislistthencongratulations,you'veobtainedcutehagstatus!🎉
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Unsound: This is the most ridiculous
definition i've seen on this site, maybe even
period. Why can't they just be called cute instead of it being overly convoluted?
Da Wei: Ironically, this is the dumbest thing i've read. Cute is vastly different from being a cute hag, conflating the two will only leave
people confused, and if you think it's "convoluted" maybe that's a sign you're conversing with the wrong community. I want cute hags to be recognized because practically nobody knows they're called that or even exist, and what better site could do that than Urban
Dictionary, where you're allowed to publish unique definitions?
Unsound: "Wrong community" Don't tell me... is it exactly what I suspect it is?
Da Wei: The moe/lolisho/pedophile community, what else did you think it was? You're just now asking what it means? Did you even read the entire
definition?
Unsound: !
Da Wei: Did I stutter?
Unsound: Stay away from children! If you layed a single finger on my daughter your body would never be found!!
Da Wei: You needn't worry, i'm an anti-contact
cuck, meaning I have no interest in pursuing a
child. Even if I was pro-contact i'
d vomit at the thought of being attracted to your bloodline.
Unsound: The fact that you're attracted to children is enough of a reason to justifiably kill you with no remorse!!!
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