Autismo_Manifesto's definitions
A retelling of the previous definition of cute hag, since it was vague at best.
Cute hags are pubescent females whom possesses child-like features, seemingly tailor-made for pedophiles. These are rare, gifted specimen outside the moe anime world.
So,whatdoesittaketoqualifyasacutehag?Here'sthelist:
🌸Face🌸 ~
Crucialfeature,hagscan'tbecutewithoutthis!Havinganeotenousfaceiseverything.Hugeeyesareideal,Lipsmustbekeptatthebareminimum,alongwithnoredlipstick(makeslipslookbigevenifthey'resmallplusitjustlooksugly.transparantistheonlyvalidlipstick),nosemustbetiny(preferablelythesoutheastasianose)andchinmustbepointy.
🌸Hair🌸~Agoodhairstyleisamust,mohawksforexampledonotmeshwellwithcutehags.Tomboyhagsarenot welcome here.
🌸Race🌸~Usuallyonlyasainsmeetthethresholdtobecomeacutehag,therearesomeexceptionsthough.
🌸Body type🌸~ Veryimportant,thoughprettyflexible.Timido(fromhi3rd),Yuna(fromgransaga)andHanekawa(frommonogatari)aretheperfectexamplesofsemi-fathagsbeingextremelycute,butgenerallyspeaking,thin(beingcurvyisfineaslongasit'snottoomuchmeattherejustlikewestoidmenlike),small-chestedhagsaremostdesired.Asforheight,it'sirrelevantforthemostpartonceyou'reahag.TallhagssuchasKianaKaslana(from hi3rd),ReiAyanami(from evangelion)andAsukaLangleySoryu(from evangelion)areontopofthehagchain.
🌸Voice🌸~Anythingthatisn'tatypicalhagvoiceiswelcome,butachild-likevoiceismostlyprefered.
🎉Ifyoucheckallthemarksonthislistthencongratulations,you'veobtainedcutehagstatus!🎉
Cannot add more due to character limit
Cute hags are pubescent females whom possesses child-like features, seemingly tailor-made for pedophiles. These are rare, gifted specimen outside the moe anime world.
So,whatdoesittaketoqualifyasacutehag?Here'sthelist:
🌸Face🌸 ~
Crucialfeature,hagscan'tbecutewithoutthis!Havinganeotenousfaceiseverything.Hugeeyesareideal,Lipsmustbekeptatthebareminimum,alongwithnoredlipstick(makeslipslookbigevenifthey'resmallplusitjustlooksugly.transparantistheonlyvalidlipstick),nosemustbetiny(preferablelythesoutheastasianose)andchinmustbepointy.
🌸Hair🌸~Agoodhairstyleisamust,mohawksforexampledonotmeshwellwithcutehags.Tomboyhagsarenot welcome here.
🌸Race🌸~Usuallyonlyasainsmeetthethresholdtobecomeacutehag,therearesomeexceptionsthough.
🌸Body type🌸~ Veryimportant,thoughprettyflexible.Timido(fromhi3rd),Yuna(fromgransaga)andHanekawa(frommonogatari)aretheperfectexamplesofsemi-fathagsbeingextremelycute,butgenerallyspeaking,thin(beingcurvyisfineaslongasit'snottoomuchmeattherejustlikewestoidmenlike),small-chestedhagsaremostdesired.Asforheight,it'sirrelevantforthemostpartonceyou'reahag.TallhagssuchasKianaKaslana(from hi3rd),ReiAyanami(from evangelion)andAsukaLangleySoryu(from evangelion)areontopofthehagchain.
🌸Voice🌸~Anythingthatisn'tatypicalhagvoiceiswelcome,butachild-likevoiceismostlyprefered.
🎉Ifyoucheckallthemarksonthislistthencongratulations,you'veobtainedcutehagstatus!🎉
Cannot add more due to character limit
Unsound: This is the most ridiculous definition i've seen on this site, maybe even period. Why can't they just be called cute instead of it being overly convoluted?
Da Wei: Ironically, this is the dumbest thing i've read. Cute is vastly different from being a cute hag, conflating the two will only leave people confused, and if you think it's "convoluted" maybe that's a sign you're conversing with the wrong community. I want cute hags to be recognized because practically nobody knows they're called that or even exist, and what better site could do that than Urban Dictionary, where you're allowed to publish unique definitions?
Unsound: "Wrong community" Don't tell me... is it exactly what I suspect it is?
Da Wei: The moe/lolisho/pedophile community, what else did you think it was? You're just now asking what it means? Did you even read the entire definition?
Unsound: !
Da Wei: Did I stutter?
Unsound: Stay away from children! If you layed a single finger on my daughter your body would never be found!!
Da Wei: You needn't worry, i'm an anti-contact cuck, meaning I have no interest in pursuing a child. Even if I was pro-contact i'd vomit at the thought of being attracted to your bloodline.
Unsound: The fact that you're attracted to children is enough of a reason to justifiably kill you with no remorse!!!
Cannot add more due to character limit
Da Wei: Ironically, this is the dumbest thing i've read. Cute is vastly different from being a cute hag, conflating the two will only leave people confused, and if you think it's "convoluted" maybe that's a sign you're conversing with the wrong community. I want cute hags to be recognized because practically nobody knows they're called that or even exist, and what better site could do that than Urban Dictionary, where you're allowed to publish unique definitions?
Unsound: "Wrong community" Don't tell me... is it exactly what I suspect it is?
Da Wei: The moe/lolisho/pedophile community, what else did you think it was? You're just now asking what it means? Did you even read the entire definition?
Unsound: !
Da Wei: Did I stutter?
Unsound: Stay away from children! If you layed a single finger on my daughter your body would never be found!!
Da Wei: You needn't worry, i'm an anti-contact cuck, meaning I have no interest in pursuing a child. Even if I was pro-contact i'd vomit at the thought of being attracted to your bloodline.
Unsound: The fact that you're attracted to children is enough of a reason to justifiably kill you with no remorse!!!
Cannot add more due to character limit
by Autismo_Manifesto March 19, 2023
Get the Cute Hagmug. Bilingual (his native language is chinese) youtuber, twitch streamer and king of finding game-breaking bugs on the daily.
He primarily makes content for ToF and informative guides for the game. He has a great sense of humor, is charismatic and addicting to watch.
He's also the perfect example of a cute grandpa!
He primarily makes content for ToF and informative guides for the game. He has a great sense of humor, is charismatic and addicting to watch.
He's also the perfect example of a cute grandpa!
Gateoo fan 1: ...Was that last bit necessary?
Gateoo fan 2: Yes, actually.
Gateoo fan 1: Don't you think he'd be weirded out if he ever saw this?
Gateoo fan 2: Probably, lol.
Gateoo fan 2: Yes, actually.
Gateoo fan 1: Don't you think he'd be weirded out if he ever saw this?
Gateoo fan 2: Probably, lol.
by Autismo_Manifesto March 20, 2023
Get the Gateoomug. Fax: HSR is such a dogshit game.
Two: Couldn't agree more, i'm only hyped for Mihoyo's endgame game called Honkai Galaxy 4.
Two: Couldn't agree more, i'm only hyped for Mihoyo's endgame game called Honkai Galaxy 4.
by Autismo_Manifesto March 24, 2023
Get the HSRmug. Cross-platform turn-based gacha anime-styled pseudo open-world game, developed and published by Mihoyo.
Coming from a multibillion dollar company (Mihoyo), it was inevitable they'd make a new game. HSR was a big disappointment for the HI3RD fans, as they decided to make it a turn-based game, which is a huge downgrade from HI3RD. Many hoped it to be a sequel to APHO2 (in terms of combat), which, of course, didn't happen. The name was only bait to reel HI3RD players in, assuming their players think of the gameplay as an afterthought. It's theorized capitalism has something to do with Mihoyo's decision of making it turn-based. The combat isn't even good, even for turn-based standards. The combat is braindead to say the very least, it's highly recommended to go play something else if you're looking for a good turn-based game, most people who are playing this are just blinded by the eyecandy.
Coming from a multibillion dollar company (Mihoyo), it was inevitable they'd make a new game. HSR was a big disappointment for the HI3RD fans, as they decided to make it a turn-based game, which is a huge downgrade from HI3RD. Many hoped it to be a sequel to APHO2 (in terms of combat), which, of course, didn't happen. The name was only bait to reel HI3RD players in, assuming their players think of the gameplay as an afterthought. It's theorized capitalism has something to do with Mihoyo's decision of making it turn-based. The combat isn't even good, even for turn-based standards. The combat is braindead to say the very least, it's highly recommended to go play something else if you're looking for a good turn-based game, most people who are playing this are just blinded by the eyecandy.
Disappointed Honkai Impact fan: Way to ruin my day, Mihoyo, you took a huge shit on us Honkai fans assuming this is what we want!
Coping Honkai Impact fan: I mean, at least the world navigation looks good. There's some cute hags in it, too!
Disappointed Honkai Impact fan: You're kinda right, the game did have potential if it wasn't turn-based garbage. "Cute hags" Where? There's only two (March 7th and Asta). Honestly, Honkai: Star Rail will never be as good as the upcoming games, this will only be good as a filler game.
Coping Honkai Impact fan: Give me the game names, then maybe i'll be convinced it's a filler game as you said.
Disappointed Honkai Impact fan: Wuthering Waves, Blue Protocol, Gran Saga global, Zenless Zone Zero (Mihoyo's other upcoming game), Solo Leveling Arise and Tower of Fantasy 3.0 only to name a few.
Coping Honkai Impact fan: Alright, i'm convinced now. Why is Tower of Fantasy on the list of games though? It's already released.
Disappointed Honkai Impact fan: Because 1. Technically anything that's an update that isn't out yet is upcoming, plus 3.0 will mop the floor with HSR and even Genshin. 2. It's objectively better, even if it isn't as beautiful and polished as HSR.
Coping Honkai Impact fan: I mean, at least the world navigation looks good. There's some cute hags in it, too!
Disappointed Honkai Impact fan: You're kinda right, the game did have potential if it wasn't turn-based garbage. "Cute hags" Where? There's only two (March 7th and Asta). Honestly, Honkai: Star Rail will never be as good as the upcoming games, this will only be good as a filler game.
Coping Honkai Impact fan: Give me the game names, then maybe i'll be convinced it's a filler game as you said.
Disappointed Honkai Impact fan: Wuthering Waves, Blue Protocol, Gran Saga global, Zenless Zone Zero (Mihoyo's other upcoming game), Solo Leveling Arise and Tower of Fantasy 3.0 only to name a few.
Coping Honkai Impact fan: Alright, i'm convinced now. Why is Tower of Fantasy on the list of games though? It's already released.
Disappointed Honkai Impact fan: Because 1. Technically anything that's an update that isn't out yet is upcoming, plus 3.0 will mop the floor with HSR and even Genshin. 2. It's objectively better, even if it isn't as beautiful and polished as HSR.
by Autismo_Manifesto March 24, 2023
Get the Honkai: Star Railmug. Food chain parody, but instead of brutally killing and eating eachother, the cuter hag dominates the other one in terms of cuteness level.
Warz: Haruhi Suzumiya is easily the cutest hag ever, I will die on this hill!
Wong: You have shit taste in cute hags lmao. It's Yuki Nagato who's at the top of the hag chain, not some annoying bitch with a huge ass eye gap.
Wong: You have shit taste in cute hags lmao. It's Yuki Nagato who's at the top of the hag chain, not some annoying bitch with a huge ass eye gap.
by Autismo_Manifesto March 18, 2023
Get the Hag Chainmug. Anyone who thinks teens are sexy are haglovers, and anyone saying they aren't cause they're "children" are lying to themselves. Contrary to popular belief, teens are hags. Mentally, sure, you could argue many of them are immature, but that doesn't take away the fact that they have adult bodies.
Argumente: Can you believe these people? They think it's perfectly fine to be attracted to a 15 year old child!
Ratio: "15 year old child" is such an oxymoron. You're yet another one of those tards who can't correctly define something.
Argumente: B-But... muh brain development!!!
Ratio: Brain development is irrelevant once you find out teens can have jobs and babysit, something actual children can't do. Just take the L, if an adult is attracted to female teens (aka young adults) they are in fact haglovers.
Ratio: "15 year old child" is such an oxymoron. You're yet another one of those tards who can't correctly define something.
Argumente: B-But... muh brain development!!!
Ratio: Brain development is irrelevant once you find out teens can have jobs and babysit, something actual children can't do. Just take the L, if an adult is attracted to female teens (aka young adults) they are in fact haglovers.
by Autismo_Manifesto March 17, 2023
Get the Haglovermug. Fujo: AAAAAA I CAN BARELY CONTAIN MYSELF, THAT LAST YURI ON ICE EPISODE WAS PHENOMENAL!!!
Stop: Isn't that yaoishit?
Stop: Isn't that yaoishit?
by Autismo_Manifesto March 7, 2023
Get the Yaoishitmug.