Jesus is an Astronaut

The act of ruining a deep, intellectual conversation with a random statement.

Scott: ... And that is why life is so confusing
Dean: Jesus is an Astronaut
Scott: Wait what?

by Dbert71 December 23, 2008

Jesus Swagger

Someone who lives a life that reflects Jesus.

That guy has got Jesus Swagger!

by jarridwilson May 1, 2016

jesus bolts

The "jesus bolts" are the small, high-tensile bolts that attach the rotor pitch control push rods to the swash plateon a helicopter.

If one of these bolts fails, then one of the 'copter's rotors will be decoupled from the cyclic/collective pitch control, which is generally thought of as a Bad Thing; they are so called because if you've led a good life, afther the failure Jesus is the next person you meet.

See also zero survivability incident

Pilot: "Is this thing good to go ?"
Engineer: "Yeah, we even gave you new Jesus Bolts !"
Pilot: "Gee, thanks."

by eighthofseven August 17, 2007

Jesus Chrysler

A substitute for when people feel like saying Jesus Christ but don't want to. So they say Jesus Chrysler instead.

"Jesus Chrysler,That guy is being a real ass"

by SolidSnake1162 May 21, 2008

Jesus's bitch

A woman who freely gives men blow jobs and then in her shame and guilt, yells it out in public places to justify her crazy basic bitch behavior.

Jesus's bitch almost got me caught up with my wife last night at the bar.

by I'm not your wife January 17, 2017

jesus perez

Jesus Perez is a guy who does not like to be called the real Jesus only jesus. He is really kind and will always be by your side. He might not be attractive but does have girls behind him. He is very smart and will not just help u but will give u answers. He will always try to make u smile and will always cheer u up.

Jesus: Hey there need some help
Kiesha: Yes
Jesus: I will not help u I will give u the answers
Kiesha: Thnx
Jesus: NP

Jesus Perez is smart

by JP 30071 October 17, 2020

rave jesus

An individual who dresses up as jesus and attends raves. Goes up to individuals having a bad reaction or "trip" on drugs and makes them feel safe.

Friend one: Damn bro, I was so mucked out last night! I saw god!
Friend two: Na dude, that was rave jesus.

by jghfcjvkhjkk January 27, 2019